Powerful (The Powerless Trilogy, #1.5)

by Lauren Roberts

The girl stands in my path, staring curiously at the scene sprinting toward her. Silver hair spills from her head, pouring down her back. And if I make it out of this unscathed, I’m determined to find a fabric of the same shimmering shade. I admire her hair until it is suddenly right in front of me. She hasn’t moved, and I’m not planning on slowing down. So, without a second thought, I run right into her. Well, technically, I run right through her.

I scoot over at the thought, ensuring there is plenty of space for the presence of her to sleep peacefully. I refuse to occupy her side, and instead, reserve it with my pile of fabric. A memorial, if you will. But not in a dead, depressing way. More like an I miss you and, don’t worry, I’m saving your spot sort of way.

If there is a God, this man is certainly proof that He has His favorites.

“I was out on the street when the coach pulled up to take the contestants to the castle.” He clears his throat. “Watched Hera climb in before the Silver Savior followed. And that is when I saw you, jumping and waving at her like she was your everything.” “That’s because she is,” I whisper.

There is not a single cynical thought to deny the fact that she may be the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of laying eyes on. She’s intimidatingly peaceful—a contradiction in itself. And I almost want to despise her for it. Because I fear there is a chance that I may begin to enjoy her.

“And the pockets are just convenient for miscellaneous tools,” I add simply. A small smile curves her lips. “Reminds me of something I made for Pae. Except, the pockets were for stolen goods.”

She smells of honey, of happiness incarnate. And it’s entirely too distracting.

This needs to look real, so get polyester.”

lol

She breathes my name and I’m surprised by the effect it has on me from a person so pretty.

She is an intoxicating sort of exhausting, like running until you’ve lost your breath but enjoying the feeling all the while. And I feel as though I’ve been sprinting for days.

“Shh.” I run a hand down the length of her curls, feeling a hiccup jostle her body. “You did the right thing. Run to me. Always run to me.”

Nevertheless, I burrow my chin into the worn threads, finding comfort in the fraying collar. Or perhaps it’s something far more symbolic that soothes me. Perhaps-it’s him. How odd, considering that he may be the least soothing person I’ve ever encountered. But these past few days have felt particularly peaceful with him by my side.

It’s completely ridiculous, really. I’ve only known this man a handful of days and am already absurdly affected by his every move. It truly is a curse to feel so deeply, to so daringly deem someone worthy of my affection.

No one but Pae has ever cared enough to call me by anything but my given name. Until now, that is.

Tragedy follows me everywhere I go, and I’m not worthy of becoming her demise. Adena deserves a fairy-tale fate, a life worthy of her light. And that means I should stay as far away from her as possible. I should.

Her eyes are back on the uniform draped in her lap. “How did you learn to fight?” My throat tightens, forcing me to swallow before saying, “Self-taught.” Persistence has her pressing for elaboration. “Why? Because you wanted to learn how to use the weapons you were making?” Because I was afraid.

He makes me happy, for whatever absurdly odd reason. He’s not exactly a ray of sunshine, but perhaps something equivalent to a moonbeam. Mysterious and unnerving. Equally as beautiful, yet, soft enough to stare at.

“What’s going on?” He examines me closely. “Is everything okay?” My lips split into a smile, my voice a squeal. “Everything is more than okay! She’s here. She’s here and she’s taking me with her!”

“No, it will be much riskier without you. I need your power there with me,” he mumbles, more to himself. I shift on my feet. “Look, I can see why you would be nervous to go alone. Why don’t you just write Hera a note, and I can make sure it gets to—” “You don’t understand!” he shouts, shoving a hand through his disheveled hair. “I need to be there! We were meant to go together so I could ensure you’d be in my range, but now I’ll have no idea where you are….”

He's a wielder

“Yes, Adena, wield your power,” he breathes. “Because that is what I do. What I am.” He steps toward me, forcing me back until my shoulders hit the wall. “And now it will be even harder to save her.”

I shake my head, fighting the tears starting to sting my eyes. “Get her out? You mean, run away with her?” He opens his mouth, but anger is already spitting out of mine. “You were going to leave me! You were going to get Hera and flee the kingdom!” I suck in a quivering breath. “You were going to die when they caught you.” “I was bound to die anyway,” he breathes. “It was only a matter of time before someone found out what I am. And there can only be one Wielder in the kingdom.”

He shakes his head, urging me to understand. “Hera is all I have left—” “You had me!” I choke. “You had me, and I would have kept your secret. You have no idea what I’m willing to do for the people I care about. But you lied.” I stumble toward the street, wiping furiously at my damp cheeks. “At least I had the decency to say goodbye.”

When the door swings shut, she’s sealed from sight, likely smiling with her friend as though she wasn’t just wiping tears from her face. Tears that I am to blame for. I used to wonder what it would take to break her. How long it would be before that happiness of hers was dulled like the rest of us. And now I wish I had never found out. Because I did this to her.

Because that was all I had left. “You had me!”

I trace the letters over and over, reminding myself of the mission at hand. The one where I save Hera from these Trials, and myself from this kingdom. But I never imagined it would be this difficult to leave. Because now there is her and every moment after. I had never known happiness before her. But if there is to be an after in which she doesn’t exist, I know I never will again.

It wasn’t hard to smile and laugh with Pae after I climbed into that coach. No, it was after that was difficult. It was when she set off for dinner with the other contestants, leaving me in a sewing room of strangers, that I was finally forced to think of him. Of the betrayal that hit me like a physical blow, forcing tears to well in my eyes. He lied to me. About his power, his plan, his everything. And here I was, thinking he cared for me. Thinking that what I felt for him just might have been reciprocated.

I struggle to hide the relief flooding to my face. He never talked about what she was to him. And I’m selfishly thankful for their relation and nothing more.

“You want to get to know me?” He rips the mask from his face, revealing the strong features hidden beneath. “I know that not a single person has convinced me to care about them before you.”

“Hera’s family,” he corrects. “But you… you’re the embodiment of everything I am not. And yet, here I am, crawling back to you as though I’ve left a piece of myself behind.” He slowly lifts a hand, and I hold my breath when his fingers run down a loose curl. “And it scares the shit out of me.”

“I regret not buying that blue shirt from you, if only so I had your attention long enough to convince you that red suits you better. I regret not telling you how much I like it when you blow those bangs out of your eyes, or the way you clap after finishing a row of stitches. I regret smothering every smile you made me want to give you. And I regret not telling you the truth. But most of all, not saying goodbye.”

He chuckles. “I’m sure she does.” Then he’s turning toward the door. “Thank you, Adena. But you may not be rid of me yet. I’ll likely need more advice in the future.” My grin is wide. “And I’ll be here for as long as you’ll allow!” He returns my smile. “Once I’m king, I may just need to make you an adviser of mine.”

“Yeah, it was perfect.” I sigh. “And all for nothing. I’m sorry I wasted your time.” “I was with you.” She smiles softly. “How could that have been a waste of time?”

“I tucked Hera behind me, as I usually did, and looked around for a mother who was never there. Though it wasn’t the sword that scared me the most, but Father’s words.” I swallow. “I’ll never forget what he said to me that night. He said I would be more use to him if they’d just handed me over to the king. If they had sold me out instead of putting up with me for so many years. And then…” I blink, feeling emotion beginning to build there. Hating it, I push on, my voice stern. “And then he threatened to do just that. Said he’d sell me to the king for the shillings he deserved, and that he should have done it years ago.”

“He stole your smile,” she whispers, tears clinging to dark lashes. “No wonder you didn’t have one to give me.” Regret rams into me once again, her words a reminder of every missed opportunity to make her smile with one of my own. “I’ll find one,” I murmur. “Steal it back if I must. For you.” Her lips lift, eyes shining with tears. “And I’ll cherish it.”

“Dena.” His voice is a whisper, a guilty confession. “It should have been me. I wish it was me.” “Don’t say that.” I squeeze him tighter, feeling his body shake with each breath. “I need you.” “Don’t,” he murmurs against my hair. “I’ll only disappoint you.”

She flashes one of those smiles at me, the type that makes it hard to look away. “Good. Because I decided that we should visit the Fort on the night of each ball.” She tears off a piece of sweet dough from the sticky bun I surprised her with. “Call it superstition, but we were here the night of the first ball, and Paedyn is still alive and well. So I plan on continuing our tradition.”

“I’m not.” The words fall quickly from my lips. “I would have waited another nineteen years if it meant you were the first good memory I was gifted.”

“I always wondered how something could shine so bright, even while being swallowed in darkness.”

“You make even the stars envious,” I repeat softly, leaning toward her. “Because one day—far from now—you will be up there beside them, outshining every single one.”

Our eyes lock for several slow seconds before I finally let the question slip out. “Why do you call me that?” At his raised brow, I elaborate with a hurried “Honey?” “I thought it was obvious.” He shrugs, seemingly indifferent. “You are what you eat.”

“You are the sweetest thing I have never tasted.” Another brush of his knuckles. “And I doubt I’ve craved anything more.”

I’ve spent my whole life wishing to be wanted. And here he is, begging me to let him.

Black fabric spills over my hands as I scurry out of the sewing room. I smile down at the silky gown, unable to contain my giddiness at the sight of it. This may be my most beautiful creation yet. And I can’t think of a more beautiful person to do it justice.

Eying him closely, I select my words carefully. For once. “So, you’re okay with her not wearing green?” He barely considers my question. “Of course. I wouldn’t want her to blend in.”

No, it seems that Kai would prefer Paedyn make a statement. Stand out. And just like that, I’ve picked which pretty prince to root for. Because it’s Kai who is destined for Paedyn, no matter how tragic their story. No matter the opposite roles they play in this life. But maybe things will be different in the next.

“This may be my last chance to dress you up.” I

:(

My smile suddenly fades into something far more serious. “Promise you’ll make it back to me after this Trial?” “I promise I’ll try my absolute hardest,” she murmurs earnestly. “Just one more, and I’m free. We are free.” My lips lift into an unexpected smile. “I’ll be cheering you on the whole time, Pae.”

I’m shockingly happy as I head toward the Fort. I can’t remember the last time I was this happy, even with Hera. Hera.

The needle is slightly larger than the ones I’ve witnessed her stab each finger with. The silver gleams, even in the dull light. I’m just able to make out the intricate, half-moon designs carved across the length of it. I’ve never gotten a gift for someone. Not like this, anyway. Not something that is filled with affection, given out of wanting rather than necessity. And that’s the terrible truth of it. I want her.

“This year’s final Trial will take place in the Bowl Arena—all are welcome and encouraged to watch.” Now, this wouldn’t mean shit if it were any other year. The Trials are typically held in the Bowl for the kingdom’s entertainment. But this year has been different. This year, they have yet to compete within the arena. I’m about to dismiss it when I remember who is going to be there. Adena. She will be in those stands, watching over her best friend between the fingers covering her eyes. I’ve never dared enter the Bowl for any Trial in the past, but I’ve also never had her. I could surprise her. Sit with her. Comfort her. It’s dangerous, but it’s for Dena. I’ll walk her back to the Fort—that alone will be a surprise. And then I’ll give her the gift still securely in my pocket. She’ll squeal, and I’ll smile, just for her. I turn down the alley that leads to my shop when a smile threatens to tip my lips. Because for the first time in my life, I’m excited to go to a Trial.