The Brightness Between Us (The Darkness Outside Us, #2)

by Eliot Schrefer

“We’re happy enough here now, but our life could get bad. Hiding away isn’t the solution. It’s the problem. We have to find standing water we can use, more metals so we can build exploration drones. Maybe I’ll even find us some company. It’s going to take old-fashioned exploration. Me with a spear and my two feet, like some caveperson.”

She sounds so naive. girl this not earth

Numb, almost curious, I press my hand against my flesh. It parts wetly. I’ve been gored. “Daddy, I’ve been gored,” I say. My voice is so soft, my voice is so quiet.

Okay well he told u not to go out on ur own and u did it anyway girl

I do like seeing our parents like this, though. Their silent closeness. They deserve it. They’ve gone through things that no human couple in history has gone through. They lived multiple cloned lives, each one leaving messages for his later selves before getting killed, until this set became the first humans to settle on a new planet, with only each other for company.

“I wish we had paper,” I grumble. I don’t like the sound of my voice. I decide I’m going to try not to grumble anymore.

girl what the fuck do you want us to do about that. earth does exist anymore and there are no trees on minerva idk what to tell you

“We can expect change.” I nod. “We can expect change.”

EARTH NOVEMBER 6, 2472 AMBROSE CUSK

finally some good shit

56.808095, –5.085725. Those are the numbers. They’re coordinates. Below them is a name. Kodiak Celius.

KODIAAKKKK

MINERVA (SAGITTARION BB) YEAR 18 YARROW

JUST WHEN IT WAS GETTING GOOD BROOOO

Here, away from them all, where it’s safe. Where they’re safe. Everything is better when I’m alone. When I’m in the flow state of shoveling, I don’t imagine them dead as often.

boy what the fuck

There used to be an “us” in my world, and it got taken away by my own mind. What was it that Dad once said? Intimacy is the only shield against insanity. Okay. But how can I be close to my family if they don’t want me to be who I truly am? Since I don’t want to witness their disappointment all day every day, my darkness must be a secret.

what the hell is this kid talking about

“So when do I—” Owl starts to say. “You’ve already gotten permission to go exploring for long periods, and you’re only fifteen. Don’t push it,” I say sharply. I don’t need Owl bringing this back to herself like usual and wrecking my plans.

idgaf what his “plans” are but i’m glad he shut her up

“So wait, I’m going to be the only human in the universe, in all of existence, who doesn’t know how Earth worked? And the rest of you are just going to tiptoe around it, or send me away whenever you want to have a private conversation about all these Earth facts you’re keeping secret?”

yup! sucks to be you!

“I want to see the messages the original Dad and Father left for their future selves.” “I see,” OS says. “I’m not sure they would want me to show you those.” “Isn’t it part of the information you store? And didn’t they grant me access to all that?” “They did.” “Let’s see, then.” It doesn’t take OS any time to deliberate. The reel starts playing.

50% to get to the cliff hanger from the last book 😭😭

Just a man in shadow, facing a camera, barely keeping it together. Until he isn’t. Father goes from collected to sobbing. There is no moment of transition. Racking, body-shaking sobs. His big hands cover his face, but I can see the force of his convulsions, hear the cracking of his chair as his body wrenches against it. “Stop the reel!” he screams.

KODIAK MY BABY

There’s a new star in the sky tonight, off to the far left of Sky Cat. It’s brighter than a star, actually. Almost brighter than a planet. I know what it means. I say nothing about it. OS will notice, too, once Rover is back.

Brah

“OS, stop the guns!” Dad yells. He runs toward the gate, then thinks better of it and stays on our side. He continues to yell meaninglessly until his voice resolves into words. “Stop them!” “That contradicts my new programming,” OS says. “I must shoot at any living being that tries to approach.” “No, that’s incorrect!” Dad says. “You are not to shoot at any of us, do you understand? Not at any humans.”

jesus christ dude

“Yarrow, what are you doing?” Dad shouts. “Just explain this to me, okay? I’m sure there’s some reason.” “There is no reason,” I say. I reach behind me and pull the printed gun out from my waistband. “What are you—” Dad starts to say. But he can’t finish because I’ve shot him. Right in the gut.

the way i literally turned my kindle away and had to take a big deep breath

EARTH MARCH 4, 2473 KODIAK CELIUS

okay sure let’s just leave it on a cliff hanger Okay

“We stay here. Going to Titan was more than a mission for me. It was my sole purpose in life. That was my greatest joy, conditioning myself for that transcendent purpose. When it was taken . . . it was hard. Very hard. It is good you didn’t come here even a few weeks ago. But I’ve started to feel something besides loss. I am surprised to find . . . triy. I guess you could call it ‘relief’ in Fédération. I’ve never been alone before now. For short periods, yes, but not like this. Now no one has control over my destiny anymore but me.”

I’ve done the same to the yaks they’ll raise—predisposed them to become killers. Since the zygotes are stored in an inaccessible part of the ship, beyond the gray portal, OS can’t repair them. The colony will fall from within.”

oh my god.

“Good luck,” I say. “Good luck?!” Ambrose says. “What is that supposed to mean?” He’s indignant again, like I’m a servant who’s just spoken out of turn. I stand, the rowboat rocking under my feet. Then I dive into the lake and start the long swim to the farthest shore. Alone.

omfg kodiak

“Dad was shot twice in the gut, Owl. At least twice. Even in fully equipped hospitals on Earth, that kind of injury was very dangerous. There are all sorts of bacteria in the gut, and when you perforate an intestine they all get released . . .”

stop playing with me bro

We’re all alone on this patch of soil, on this planet, solar system, galaxy. The universe is so enormous, all around me, that I keep shrinking the more that I think about the scale of it. I don’t know how to express that, so I focus on something smaller. “I want to go help Dad. That’s all I want to do.”

The warbot can detect the vibrations of pulsing blood. Instead of fleeing, I concentrate on my urge to flee, go deep inside and drop my heart rate like I’ve been trained to do. In the academy we spent hours in chilled pools, cold enough to ride the edge of hypothermia, so we’d learn what a slow pulse felt like and—eventually—be able to produce one at will.

jesus

That tech is simpler. We could send the schematics for both devices in the same fly.” His voice goes quiet. “Should you agree.”

ONG WE’RE SAVED? 🙌🏽🙇🏽‍♀️

“I was raised to be alone, to be powerful by being contained. To beat away human needs. I think sometimes that it is too late for me, that I will never relate to anyone else.

But what if . . . what if that me has found some happiness? What if he has found someone, some people, to rely on? If he even has a family? And that will all be taken away by what Devon Mujaba did. Sending out the flies would mean giving them the choice, on Sagittarion Bb. They can decide what should become of humanity. They will have more information about what it’s capable of.”

I turn my attention back to the sky. Somewhere out there, maybe right now, millions of years away, in the void of space, a version of me is being woken up next to a version of him, these two beings who are intimately connected and nothing alike.

“In case, in case we, I just wanted . . .” Then hands are on either side of my face, and it’s him. Ambrose before me, the gentle arc of his parting lips, his eyes looking into mine. I kiss him. Move my palms to his head, so my thumbs are pushing into his cheekbones.

“Ambrose, what will our future be?” I ask him as I run my hands over his body, trying to learn something I desperately need to know, that I have to study as fast as I can. He doesn’t answer. The question is too big to answer. I meant the future some other version of our selves will have. I don’t need to wonder about the future of us, here, now. That future is short. I will live in these current moments as fully as possible. Then I will be gone. Ambrose will be gone. Sheep will be gone. It arrives. The brightness between us.

i’m emotional af LEAVE ME ALONE

There’s a shadow at the entrance, and then Father is inside, kneeling beside Dad, like he’s praying, only his hands are clasping one of Dad’s wrists. Father—Father!—is crying into his lover’s hand. “You’re alive. I was so scared.”

Father helps me fluff Dad’s pillow, and then he returns to his position at Dad’s side, pressing his forehead against Dad’s palm. Dad isn’t quite crying, but tears keep streaming from his eyes.

I am a ghost. I am haunting them. They scramble to get ready. Since my family is too busy to deal with the slain malevors, I’m using the body of the largest male as my cover, lying beside him, holding on to the horns and peering over the wiry gray tuft of hair at the top of his head.

omg go away u freak

“Father and I found the beacon. It’s not your fault. We can help you.” He blinks. He looks to the gestation device, flat on the tarp a hundred yards away. “Can you walk?” I ask. Yarrow nods, stunned, his mouth agape. He’s somehow managed to bind his own hands behind him, but his legs are free. He lurches to his feet. I step toward the Aurora, scanning the countdown as I do. Five minutes.

i am in genuine emotional distress

“I can request OS make it so that this simulated journey to Titan lasts approximately the same time as it will take us to emerge post-comet,” Dad says. “I thought we could all take that journey together.”

FUCKK BRO 🙁🙁