Definitely Better Now

by Ava Robinson

I was terrible at speaking from the heart. My heart was shy. It didn’t like crowds.

As the years went on, I was feeling younger and younger. My body was aging, but my soul was Benjamin Button–ing.

marry someone who brings out the best in you.” “That’s what everyone says.” “Okay, think about it this way. When you’re with someone, if you like yourself, then they’re good for you. If you don’t like yourself, then they’re not. I think it’s that simple.”

Men respected other men’s claims on a woman infinitely more than they respected a woman’s decision not to sleep with them.

“You can be nostalgic for things you haven’t lived through. As long as it speaks to an essential part of you.”

“You can’t choose your family, and you can’t choose your baseball team. Not really.”

“You’d just say ‘It would mean so much if you could make it.’ It’s scary, I know. Of course it’s scary. But it gets easier every time you invite someone in.”

Sometimes it can feel like disloyalty, letting go of past versions of yourself. Even though I’d changed so much about myself, even though I’d worked so hard for it, I still wasn’t sure who I was going to be or what exactly I was working toward.

“Now I feel like I can’t be sober just because he was drunk. I have to be sober because I want to be sober. Because my life is better when I don’t drink. Maybe it’s that simple—or at least just for today, it feels that simple.”

If I only have so many breaths, I want to take each one with intention.”