Eventually it became that he would touch me and spank me, telling me not to look—“Don’t look at me,” he’d say, “don’t turn your head.” I assume he was jerking off. He wouldn’t be mad at me—he did it very calmly, just sitting in a chair, whacking my ass. My butt would be black, blue, orange, green. It was kind of the same drill every time. He’d come in the room, do what he did. Once, I showed my mom my butt and she said, “Well, what did you do to cause that?” as if he had just given me a spanking for misbehavior. And then she’d go scream at him. He’d say, “Oh, I was drunk,” or, “She was
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