Gray After Dark

by Noelle W. Ihli

The fact that I’d never see that look again—and the fact that it was my fault—was an ache I knew would never go away.

Opening up your heart is messy—and risky. But keeping your heart locked is risky, too.

I learned that it didn’t actually matter whether you kept your heart open or locked. Twisted metal and broken glass sliced through it either way. So did loss.

My heart was already a mess. That was all I deserved.

“Rayna was a staff member here. Years ago,” Jennifer finally began. “She went missing,” she added stiffly. “Her body was never recovered.”

I would have cried tears of joy to trade the past two days for a chance to face off with a bear instead of these two monsters.

I wanted so badly to take care of Mom and make it so she wouldn’t have to work so hard anymore. It had always been the two of us against the world. On paper, I was the champion. But Mom was my champion. And that mattered more than anything I did on the course.

“Opening up your heart is messy—and risky. But keeping your heart spotless is risky too,”

A rabbit pendant, identical to the ones she’d given Brent and me right before the race. For luck. For speed. For the reminder that no matter what happened, we’d already won.