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Opening up your heart is messy—and risky. But keeping your heart locked is risky, too.
I learned that it didn’t actually matter whether you kept your heart open or locked. Twisted metal and broken glass sliced through it either way. So did loss. My heart was already a mess. That was all I deserved.
“Rayna was a staff member here. Years ago,” Jennifer finally began. “She went missing,” she added stiffly. “Her body was never recovered.”
“Her name’s Ruth Suzanne. Ruthie Sue, for short,” Hamish interrupted.
Wes. I had no reason to hate him. If anything, I owed him my thanks. But I hated him anyway.
“Sure hope you ain’t too far gone to make yourself pretty again.”
I would have cried tears of joy to trade the past two days for a chance to face off with a bear instead of these two monsters.
“You don’t know how lucky it is we found you. When SHTF, you’ll be thanking us. We got enough supplies to ride out any disaster that’s comin’,” he
“We ain’t ‘preppers.’ We’re real men. Nothing like those neutered sissies you know in the city. Last of a dying breed.”
Protected by God and Guns. If you can read this, you are down range.
“Home sweet home,” Fred crowed. “That’s my pussy cat, Mary.” “No cat about it. Just pussy,” Hamish said, and they both laughed.
“Mary’s all mine. But don’t worry. Hame knows how to share.”
He looked like a maniacal string bean.
Four years ago, a staffer at Hidden Springs had gone missing. Killed by a bear, they thought. While on a run in the woods.
“You’re her,” I whispered, unable to stop the words from tumbling out. “You’ve been here for four years. Everyone thinks a bear killed you.”
She terrified me, that was true, but she also made my heart hurt. Because regardless of the fact that she was intent on holding me prisoner here, there was no doubt in my mind that she was a prisoner too.
“The last men left who truly understand what it means to live off the land. To bend the wilderness to their will. Godly masters of creation. They’re building a new society, and we’re an important part of that,”
“You want to get out of those chains, Ruthie Sue? Start by learning your place.”
“My dad always wanted to take me. Said his ‘flower child’ needed to learn to man up.” He gestured to his neon-yellow T-shirt that sported scientific drawings of dandelions. “I never could stomach the idea of killing something just for the thrill of it, though.”
“Opening up your heart is messy—and risky. But keeping your heart spotless is risky too,”
“I want to go home to Boise. I want to have babies and my own chickens.” Fresh tears ran down her cheeks. “Wes was a good person.”
A rabbit pendant, identical to the ones she’d given Brent and me right before the race. For luck. For speed. For the reminder that no matter what happened, we’d already won.
