Dearest

by Jacquie Walters

Everything she waited for is here. And since she is no longer preoccupied with the promise of the future, she is highly attuned to the now, which feels somehow two-dimensional in comparison to the three-dimensional world she had imagined.

Who knew that motherhood came with a whole new vocabulary? Her growing lexicon makes her feel increasingly lonely, as if the acquisition of each new word pulls her further from her old life.

She is learning that parenthood means existing as a sine wave in constant oscillation.

How long will it be before she has that feeling again? Maybe never. She is absolutely tethered to another human being. And she has no one to blame but herself.

Maybe that is the burden of motherhood: to give all that you can and know that it will never be enough.