Wake Up and Open Your Eyes
Rate it:
Open Preview
Read between July 30 - August 13, 2025
2%
Flag icon
Noah drags his pillow over his face and releases a low groan. “Pleeeease. No more articles about deprogramming your parents…” It’s far too late for an intervention.
2%
Flag icon
Debate won’t help. Arguing only makes matters worse. Your loved ones are lost in a conspiracy theory loophole. They are falling down their own personal rabbit holes. Only patience and understanding will pull them out.
2%
Flag icon
Noah has felt so isolated from his family—his own mother—ever since she tumbled down the rabbit hole. Whatever crawled back up isn’t Mom anymore.
4%
Flag icon
This is all Fax’s fault. Fax News took Noah’s parents away.
Sam Cardet
Subtle.
4%
Flag icon
They were a family once. They still are. Bound by blood, even if not ideology. Can’t they be a family again?
9%
Flag icon
It has everything to do with the news. Who exactly his parents are getting their fax—sorry, facts—from. Their channel of choice has changed them from the inside out.
Sam Cardet
Thanks, I wouldn't have picked that up if it wasn't explicitly spelled out for me.
9%
Flag icon
Okay. So…What do we do now?
Sam Cardet
SMASH THE STUPID TVS?
11%
Flag icon
He turns the TV off. That’ll get their attention. See how they like that.
Sam Cardet
You have already tried this 5 times
16%
Flag icon
There’s Anderson. Mr. Cooper. The Man himself.
17%
Flag icon
But Mom is crammed in a closet, scratching what remains of her fingers across the wood, barely alive. Barely human.
Sam Cardet
She literally broke out of the closet. What?
18%
Flag icon
The doxycycline hadn’t kicked in yet. The doctor swore up and down his new prescription would take a while, but still. Wasn’t his skin supposed to have dried out by now?
Sam Cardet
Doxycycline doesnt dry the skin out....
19%
Flag icon
Devon felt like a bloated sponge compared to her. SpongeMom YogaPants.
23%
Flag icon
Bad call. Nobody likes Sincere Tweets. Anytime somebody goes earnest, they’re torn to pieces. Kiss of death, dude.
30%
Flag icon
Some days Devon didn’t know what to do with herself. What can I do? What am I capable of doing? This was more than mere boredom. This was soul fatigue.
31%
Flag icon
The truth was all there. Right at her fingertips. It was online, ready and waiting for her, as long as she was willing to dig. But…how? Where could she click? There was too much truth online. An ocean of information. Devon didn’t know where to begin. She was lost, adrift in a sea of links.
32%
Flag icon
Did you know that the public schools have been quietly revising their history textbooks to reflect a “more contemporary viewpoint” on Christopher Columbus? What the hell does that even mean? They’re phasing the motherfucker out! Did Asher really care about Columbus? Not particularly…But doesn’t that seem wrong to you?
33%
Flag icon
It will grow inside you, if you’re not careful. Take root. Before you know it, whatever that anger is, it’ll become a part of you…and then it just gets harder to uproot. Anger is a weed.
33%
Flag icon
Somebody ought to do something about it, he thought. Someone should go and— Asher hesitated. Should do…what, exactly? Where was he going with all of this?
33%
Flag icon
But the tone of her voice felt off. That determined tenor didn’t sound like Devon.
Sam Cardet
Tenor --> "woman's voice"?
33%
Flag icon
Asher had never drifted off in front of the TV before. Never. No matter how late he surfed the channels, he’d always been able to turn off the TV, pick himself up, and head to bed.
Sam Cardet
That's not what your wife said, buddy
36%
Flag icon
Aren’t devices supposed to slip into sleep mode after a minute of inactivity? How could hers still be on?
Sam Cardet
By changing the settings...
58%
Flag icon
All she wanted was to dig her fingers into her chest and crack her rib cage open, let the butterfly of her soul breathe freely and emerge triumphant.
62%
Flag icon
It was such a knee-jerk reaction, Caleb thought with contempt—capturing the moment on camera. Rather than stand up from their seats and help, see if he was all right, they videotaped him.
Sam Cardet
Videotaped?
63%
Flag icon
There is the world at large, the global stage, the spread, the sprawl. Those are the real targets. The true aim. To reach them, you need to leave your body behind. If you really want to wake people up, you need to go viral. To spread into a million glimmering fragments.
69%
Flag icon
This just in: We are receiving new information here and it, uh…well, it seems to suggest we’re dealing with some fucked-up shit.
70%
Flag icon
After years of Instacart and Uber rides, you do not have the tools to survive. Your liberal values aren’t going to save you now that the world has gone to total shit.
Sam Cardet
Are Instacart and Uber liberal things?
77%
Flag icon
What hell you have experienced under this roof is for you and your soul alone to contend with, if souls are even a thing you believe in anymore. What exactly do you believe in, Noah Fairchild? What’s left?
79%
Flag icon
Or—you can simply keep him on his tablet and let him zone the fuck out. Screen time it is! We’ll worry about the batteries running out later…
Sam Cardet
The batteries LMAO
82%
Flag icon
Like a radio signal got sent through those 5G cell towers and whoever was flipping through their iPhone at—that—very—second—was all like, ZAP! You know what I’m saying? Microwaved their minds, dude.
Sam Cardet
Apparently only Republicans and their children use screens
82%
Flag icon
That’s all these demons want, I bet. Hell on motherfucking earth. Hell yeah. So…like, how do you give an exorcism to the whole country?
87%
Flag icon
But your pals invite their pals and they invite their pals and on and on and on…until you have no control over who comes into your home. And what do these hard partiers do? They wreck the fucking place. Destroy your home. Absolute chaos.
Sam Cardet
This is just the plot of Mother!
87%
Flag icon
This is—and I’m just going to say it here—this is some white people shit.
97%
Flag icon
You truly believed that people were…possessed? Actually possessed? Where in the world did that idea come from?
Sam Cardet
Perhaps from the book literally presenting it that way?