Sophie pulled out a yellow legal pad from her bag and wrote CRITERIA FOR FAKE BOYFRIEND in large capital letters at the top. “Let’s start easy. I assume you don’t want to take someone to this wedding who’s been convicted for a violent crime they actually committed.” I blinked at her. “Correct.” “Not…a…violent…felon,” Sophie said, jotting it down. “Got it. Next question. How old should he be?” I thought about that. “Maybe mid-to-late thirties? If he’s too young and impressionable, it could get weird. But if he’s too much older than me, that could be weird, too.”
OMFG REGGIE IS MEETING NONE OF THIS CRITERIA LMAO
