My Vampire Plus-One

by Jenna Levine

“I am sorry,” the guy said again. “But—look. Since you’ve kept me from where I was heading for nearly an entire minute now, can you do me a favor?”

REGINALD !!!!! i'm pleased that it appears not a THING has changed since we last met XD i've missed you! :')

he looked more attractive than he had any right to look,

I bet he’d kiss like the world was ending.

It was a deep voice, rich and smooth, and as sinful as silk sheets.

He flashed me a full smile—there and then gone again, like mist at dawn. I shivered for reasons having nothing to do with the cold night air.

I’d never had the opportunity to throw a letter threatening my life into a fire before, but I imagined it must feel really good. But while Frederick was comfortably off, and his home was filled with the kinds of comforts usually only enjoyed by the comfortably off, he didn’t have a working fireplace. And so the stupid letter sat there like the crumpled-up wad of nasty Denny’s menu it was rather than bursting into a far more satisfying ball of flames.

omfg reggie i cannot !!!

“Pick that up,” Frederick said. He eyed the thing like it was a dog dropping. “Cassie will be home from work soon.”

AND THIS ENERGY FROM FREDDIE >>>

Love was a good look on my old friend, though. He hardly even brooded anymore. Since Cassie came into his life, sometimes he even smiled. I would never tell them this, but I was rooting for them.

adorable :')

But there was no time to think about what Amelia Collins might look like when she was laughing for real, or how that warm little hand of hers I’d briefly touched would feel like entwined with my own. I’d never see her again.

I bet she was good at her job. I bet she was good at lots of things, even if fake laughing wasn’t one of them.

Mission statement: To live each day with courage, compassion, and curiosity. To become a better version of myself each day and inspire others in my path to do the same. (Got to figure out better mission statement, the one that came with this journal is stupid)

REGINALD OML I LOVE YOU

Today’s goals: blend in (via F’s boring outfits) avoid getting murdered try “Bullet Journaling” (most ideas Cassie thinks are good are actually bad, but what the heck. Nothing to lose by trying).

AVOID GETTING MURDERED IM DEAD

And there was my most prized possession: a framed oil painting of Edward Cullen on the wall above the sink, sparkly and magnificent as he gazed moodily into the middle distance.

OMFG NOT THIS LMAO

In the meantime, if they’d found my apartment, I needed to find a new place to stay. And fast.

HOLD ON ARE THEY GOING TO BE ROOMMATES ?! IM SO EXCITED

Until a few months ago, Sam had expressed what I’d always thought of as a regular, brotherly amount of concern for my safety. The past few months, though, he’d become bizarrely nervous. Last week he’d even started encouraging me to carry a sharp wooden stick in my purse if I planned to be out at night.

OMG I LOVE THAT AMELIA IS SAM'S SISTER AND THE PARALLELS FROM BOOK ONE!!

Anyway. Thanks again. (See? I AM capable of gratitude. Sometimes.) —R

I LOVE REGGIE AND FREDDIE'S FRIENDSHIP :')

Sophie pulled out a yellow legal pad from her bag and wrote CRITERIA FOR FAKE BOYFRIEND in large capital letters at the top. “Let’s start easy. I assume you don’t want to take someone to this wedding who’s been convicted for a violent crime they actually committed.” I blinked at her. “Correct.” “Not…a…violent…felon,” Sophie said, jotting it down. “Got it. Next question. How old should he be?” I thought about that. “Maybe mid-to-late thirties? If he’s too young and impressionable, it could get weird. But if he’s too much older than me, that could be weird, too.”

OMFG REGGIE IS MEETING NONE OF THIS CRITERIA LMAO

“I suppose…” I began, then trailed off. “I suppose if I’m actually going to go through with this, not thinking he’s cute would be a plus.”

OMG HE IS ABSOLUTELY HEARING ALL OF THIS BLASPHEMY ISNT HE

Feelings: Distracted. (I came to this coffee shop to try and bullet journal my way back to executive functioning, or whatever that dumb bullet journaling site called it, but Amelia Collins and her friend are inexplicably HERE? And STARING at me?) Confused. (How in this city of millions have A.C. and I crossed paths TWICE in 24 HOURS?! And why is she checking me out?)

the humor !!!!

(Hades, she’s pretty. I’ve been so distracted by everything else I’d forgotten just how pretty she is.)

His half smile slid into a smirk. “So you think about me, do you?”

REGINALD !!!

There it was again—the softness in his tone that I just didn’t know what to do with.

It seemed entirely unfair that hands like these belonged to a man I would never see again after this wedding. I bet he could do all kinds of things with them.

Maybe she’ll help me with my taxes Maybe I’ll get to hold her hand again Or even kiss her

DEAD ON ALL ACCOUNTS

How does A. not have entire stable of men willing to help her? She’s exquisitely beautiful, smart, etc. etc. etc. Makes no sense that she’d need to ask a stranger.

To-Dos: Haven’t told her I’m a vampire. Must do that ASAP (refuse to make same mistake Freddie did with Cassie). Hope she takes it better than Cassie did when F. told her. Hope that part of her even thinks it’s cool that I’m cool

OMG REGGIE YOU WILL DO NO SUCH THING

The vampire fugitive R.C. has been wanted for the murder of dozens of innocent vampire partygoers for the better part of two centuries!!!! We, The Collective, remain the only vampiric organization dedicated to bringing him to justice at any cost. SHOULD ANY INFORMATION ABOUT THIS: CRIMINAL EVIL VAMPIRE MASTERMINDL TERRIBLE GUY COME TO LIGHT PLEASE EMAIL THE COLLECTIVE IMMEDIATELY AT THECOLLECTIVE_1876@HOTMAIL.COM

TERRIBLE GUY IS A RIOT OMFG

“Are you a murderer?” And then, because it was the middle of the night and I was slightly delirious, that bizarro Comic Sans website from the vampire vigilante group popped into my mind. “I’ve got it. You’re a vampire fugitive, aren’t you.” “I…” He cleared his throat. A nervous laugh. “How did you know?”

OMFG DYING

REGINALD: Also, do I have permission to go into your apartment while you’re gone? FREDERICK: ABSOLUTELY not. FREDERICK: Not after what you did to our mantel. REGINALD: I said sorry FREDERICK: Apology accepted. FREDERICK: My answer remains no. REGINALD: fine, fine, I’ll just wear what I have in my closet FREDERICK: Just don’t wear Old Fuzzy, any of those things you pilfered from the Steppenwolf Theatre props department back in the 1980s, or anything from your feather boa collection. REGINALD: well now I am going to wear all that stuff EVEN HARDER

HiLARIOUS

To not make fool of self at dinner party.

my heart !!! :'(

REGINALD_THE_V: Hi. Am I doing this right? REGINALD_THE_V: Okay so my name is Reginald REGINALD_THE_V: I’ve been a bullet journaler for about a week and while I didn’t think it would be my thing it’s been REALLY helpful in processing my shit REGINALD_THE_V: (Sorry for swearing. I hope that’s okay?) REGINALD_THE_V: anyhoo the lady at Joann Fabrics suggested I check out this group to get new ideas. I’m not great at the internet or stuff like that but happy to be here

NOT (NOT!!!) REGINALD THE V - CANT BREATHE OML

“Just be myself,” he repeated. “And pretend to be in love with you.”

SCREAMING !!!!

Reggie was still impressed. “Wow,” he said, stepping beneath the arbor. He peered at the pine branches above us. “Is that real pine?” I was about to tell him that my aunt wouldn’t be caught dead decorating with fake foliage when he reached up and snapped off a handful of pine needles—and popped them in his mouth. “Gross,” he muttered, shuddering a little, before spitting them out into his hand. He glared at them like they’d just hit his dog with their car. I stared at him, incredulous. “Of course it’s gross.” Was this man an eight-year-old child? “Why the hell did you just try and eat them?”

WTF NO REGINALD OMG LMAO

FREDERICK: Anyway, no: I will NOT give you “kissing advice for humans”

OMG OMG OMG

“Amelia told us you work in tech but didn’t go into details. What do you do?” My heart sped up again. Suddenly, I regretted not pinning this detail down with him more specifically and telling him he could get creative with the explanation. How wild did he plan to get with the ad-libbing? I decided to intervene. “I told you, Mom. We met at the office, and—” —at the exact same moment Reggie said, “I work at a carnival.”

R E G I N A L D !!!!!!!!!

REGINALD: just wanted to thank you for a lovely evening REGINALD: definitely the nicest time I’d had in a Chicago suburb in recent memory REGINALD: one of the nicer evenings I’ve had anywhere at all in quite some time if I’m being honest

i love him !!! so naive and precious i cannot !

“Amelia and I are—” “Friends!” I cut in, because I’d had no idea how he’d planned to finish that sentence. “We’re friends.” Reggie beamed at me.

OMG HE IS SO HAPPY AT THIS MY HEARTTT

Could she tell just by looking at me how badly I wanted to bury my face in her hair?

She smiled at me, so warm and genuine it felt like the sun emerging after a century of slumber, and Hades help me, I was lost.

I didn’t want him to keep looking at me like that. Not here. Not now. I also wanted him to never stop.

He held my hand like it was something precious, and looked into my eyes as though there were nowhere he’d rather be.

“I’m warning you,” I said. “If Dad finds out you’re excited to talk to him about history, you’ll be his favorite person ever.” Reggie took that as the invitation it was. His smile grew. “His favorite person ever? Wow. In that case, I’m absolutely coming. It’s been centuries since I was someone’s favorite person.”

my sweet smol bean :'(

“You are really fond of hyperbole, aren’t you.” “Oh, yes,” he said, earnestly. “It’s my favorite word beginning with hyper.”

reginald!!!!

To keep self under control in Wisconsin and not let Amelia see how badly I want to kiss her again

T H I S >>>

“The truth is, I quite like making you happy.” He shook his head. “I’m frightened to think too much about what that means, because I honestly can’t remember the last time I wanted to do anything for another person, simply for its own sake. And without having an ulterior motive.” His eyes, when they met mine, were so intense I had to look away. “But for you, I would brave a blizzard just to see you smile.”

I would brave a blizzard just to see you smile.

TACOCATTUESDAY: how far did you push things??? Like what base TACOCATTUESDAY: like did you ask to eat her out or smthg? right after kissing her for the first time? Because if so no wonder she’s spooked REGINALD_THE_V: I mean, I didn’t ask to eat her out REGINALD_THE_V: at least not technically REGINALD_THE_V: More like…I proposed blood play. Sort of? BRAYDENSMOM: OMG TACOCATTUESDAY: DAMN SON LYDIASGOALS: Listen I’m as invested in this as the rest of y’all but can we please move this convo to #off-topic? REGINALD_THE_V: oooh yes sorry sorry, won’t happen again

DAMN SON OMFG IM DYING

And yet there I was, staring sleepless up at the ceiling, feeling pangs of something I refused to name, as the taste of his lips on mine lingered like a delicious mistake.

Even when he was silent, everything about him was always so loud.

“The problem with young people is not that they’re lazy. It’s that they think they have unlimited time. So they postpone the fun parts of life thinking they can get to those later. Only at the end do they realize how badly they squandered…well. Everything.”