My Vampire Plus-One

by Jenna Levine

More importantly, she was human. I had sworn off fucking with anything mortal during the Carter Administration.

And there was my most prized possession: a framed oil painting of Edward Cullen on the wall above the sink, sparkly and magnificent as he gazed moodily into the middle distance.

coming from his end of the phone was something that sounded like a song I vaguely remembered from the Twilight soundtrack,

She smiled at me, so warm and genuine it felt like the sun emerging after a century of slumber, and Hades help me, I was lost.

To-do list: Pilfer South Side blood bank for supplies Pack: a. Meals; b. Old Fuzzy; c. Monopoly; d. Glockenspiel Leave note on door to throw Collective off trail if they come looking for me

“The truth is, I quite like making you happy.” He shook his head. “I’m frightened to think too much about what that means, because I honestly can’t remember the last time I wanted to do anything for another person, simply for its own sake. And without having an ulterior motive.” His eyes, when they met mine, were so intense I had to look away. “But for you, I would brave a blizzard just to see you smile.”

“Listen, as kickass as I’ve always found Edward Cullen, an entire family of celibate vampires living only on animal blood…well.” He smirked, his mask of cool indifference back in place. “None of those details apply to me.”

If her eyes had been open, she’d have seen it written all over my face just how desperately I was falling for her.

“I’ve wanted to make you laugh like this since the night we met. You were terrible at pretending to laugh when I asked you to, but in hindsight I see that was a good thing. Because if I’d seen what you are like when you truly let go, I would have fallen to my knees. Right then and there.”

“He also said that leaving you when he did is one of the hardest things he’s ever done. He placed special emphasis on the word hardest, but out of concern for my own sanity, I refuse to analyze why that might be.”

Efficiency. I can’t stop thinking about her so keeping her with me would save time I would always make sure she has food she can eat She needs to laugh more. I’m good at making her laugh (I love making her laugh) She makes me forget the terrible pointlessness of my existence (as well as all the other terrible things in this world) (she is so lovely) I haven’t made love to her yet and I REALLY want to. (I think she would enjoy it tbh) I would devote the rest of my existence to making her happy and I think (???) she would enjoy that Continued proximity to a real live historian (her dad)

Reggie let out a quiet moan. “You’re so hot when you talk taxes,” he breathed.

“Worrying about things way too far in advance is kind of my thing, though.”