My Vampire Plus-One

by Jenna Levine

After the last tax bill? You sure?

“I’d have hoped they’d have found something better to worry about over the past hundred and fifty years,” I muttered. Frederick raised an eyebrow. “Like what?” “Like…oh, Hades, I don’t know.” I shook my head and ran a distracted hand through my hair. “Climate change, maybe.” Frederick shot me a skeptical look. “No, really,” I continued. “Climate change is definitely more important to vampire life in the twenty-first century than a party faux pas from over one hundred years ago that might have resulted in slight calamity.”

I wished Frederick had a fireplace I could throw it into. Watching it catch fire and disintegrate into ash…well. I’d never had the opportunity to throw a letter threatening my life into a fire before, but I imagined it must feel really good.

More importantly, she was human. I had sworn off fucking with anything mortal during the Carter Administration.

We stan

And there was my most prized possession: a framed oil painting of Edward Cullen on the wall above the sink, sparkly and magnificent as he gazed moodily into the middle distance.

“The truth is, I quite like making you happy.” He shook his head. “I’m frightened to think too much about what that means, because I honestly can’t remember the last time I wanted to do anything for another person, simply for its own sake. And without having an ulterior motive.” His eyes, when they met mine, were so intense I had to look away. “But for you, I would brave a blizzard just to see you smile.”