My Vampire Plus-One

by Jenna Levine

Letter from Zelda Turret, formerly Grizelda Watson, to Reginald Cleaves Hey Reg, It’s been a while. How’s tricks, kid? I wanted to let you know that those losers who chased you around all those years somehow found their way to my yoga retreat out here in Napa. (I’m in Napa now by the way. Wild, right???) I don’t know if they’re here because they’re turning over a new leaf from the nonsense vendetta business, or if they’re here to sniff around for evidence they’ll never find (I remain eternally grateful that there was no CSI: Sevastapol in 1872). Either way, everyone in the world is right about how annoying they are. The good news is they seem to have forgotten all about you. The bad news is now they’re my problem (though I have a plan in place for if they get too snoopy). Keep it real, friend. If you ever happen to be out this way let me know and I’ll show you around. Grizzy ps: Thank you, by the way, for keeping my name out of this mess all these years. You’re a real one.