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November 8 - November 10, 2024
Unconditional love made warriors of us all. It gave you strength to carry on, to show up for the one you lost. It set your own emotions aside. I’d known what that was like with my father.
Father used to warn me that our intentions shaped how we viewed the world. If I looked for the negative, I’d always find it. And if I saw the positive, I’d find it in spades.
“I have hungered for you in ways you cannot comprehend. I’ve craved you. More than my sin. You haunt me, Adriana.” I nearly shook from the confession. “My dreams are the only time I get to worship you. Do you have any idea how many careful lies of omission I’ve told over the years? The role I’ve played this last decade. All to hide the truth of how deeply, wholly lost I am to you?”
“The truth is, sweet nemesis”—I lowered my mouth to her ear—“I have not fucked a soul since the All-Sinners Ball. But I have made love to you a thousand times in my dreams. And I have never once yearned for anyone else to visit my bed.”
“One thing I’ve learned is decisions based in fear or anxiety or worry will always come back to haunt you.