Wherever you begin and whatever task you choose for yourself, here is a review of some basic do’s and don’ts to keep in mind when you are feeling angry: 1. Do speak up when an issue is important to you. Obviously, we do not have to address personally every injustice and irritation that comes along. To simply let something go can be an act of maturity. But it is a mistake to stay silent if the cost is to feel bitter, resentful, or unhappy. We de-self ourselves when we fail to take a stand on issues that matter to us. 2. Don’t strike while the iron is hot. A good fight will clear the air in some
Wherever you begin and whatever task you choose for yourself, here is a review of some basic do’s and don’ts to keep in mind when you are feeling angry: 1. Do speak up when an issue is important to you. Obviously, we do not have to address personally every injustice and irritation that comes along. To simply let something go can be an act of maturity. But it is a mistake to stay silent if the cost is to feel bitter, resentful, or unhappy. We de-self ourselves when we fail to take a stand on issues that matter to us. 2. Don’t strike while the iron is hot. A good fight will clear the air in some relationships, but if your goal is to change an entrenched pattern, the worst time to speak up may be when you are feeling angry or intense. If your fires start rising in the middle of a conversation, you can always say, “I need a little time to sort my thoughts out. Let’s set up another time to talk about it more.” Seeking temporary distance is not the same as a cold withdrawal or an emotional cutoff. 3. Do take time out to think about the problem and to clarify your position. Before you speak out, ask yourself the following questions: “What is it about the situation that makes me angry?” “What is the real issue here?” “Where do I stand?” “What do I want to accomplish?” “Who is responsible for what?” “What, specifically, do I want to change?” “What are the things I will and will not do?” 4. Don’t use “below-the-belt” tactics. These include: blaming, interpreting, diagnosing, labelin...
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When we want to address issues, especially involving anger, consider these pointers ---
