Diagnosing the other person is a favorite pastime for most of us when stress is high. Although it can reflect a wish to provide a truly helpful insight, more often it is a subtle form of blaming and one-upmanship. When we diagnose, we assume that we can know what another person really thinks, feels, or wants, or how the other person should think, feel, or behave. But we can’t know these things for sure. It is difficult enough to know these things about our own selves.
