The more our relationships in our first family are fused (meaning the togetherness force is so powerful that there is a loss of the separate “I’s” within the “we”), the more we learn to take responsibility for other people’s feelings and reactions and blame them for our own. (“You always make Mom feel guilty.” “You give Dad headaches.” “She caused her husband to drink.”) Likewise, family members assume responsibility for causing other people’s thoughts, feelings, and behavior.
