After this escalating dance of pursuit and withdrawal proceeds for some time, the woman goes into what therapists call “reactive distance.” Feeling rejected and fed up, she at last proceeds to go about her own business. The man now has even more space than he is comfortable with, and in time he moves closer to her in the hope of making contact. But it’s too late. “Where were you when I needed you!” she says angrily. At this point, distancer and pursuer might even reverse their roles for a while.