Less obvious but no less important is the price that Lois pays personally for the position she holds in this relationship, as evidenced by her chronic anger and high level of stress. When we overfunction, we may have a difficult time allowing others to take over and care for us, so that we can just relax or have the luxury of falling apart for a little while. Lois, the caretaker and helper for others, has lost sight of her own needs and challenges of continued growth, which she can sweep under the rug because she “needs to care for her brother.” By continuing to feel responsible for the other
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