It wasn’t my first time having sex, but the lead-up had never felt like this—like I was teetering on the precipice of something that could upend my entire world if I let it. And I wanted to let it. That was the scariest part. I’d tried so hard to prevent myself from getting to this point. Every time I gave in over the past two months, I immediately pulled back, but one side had to win the tug-of-war between my heart and mind. Right now, the heart was leading bigtime.
