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by
Jim Wilson
Read between
November 20 - November 23, 2024
We address the problem from where we are, not from where we should be.
love requires expression,
Both sexes of the human race need love and respect from both sexes. Of the two, women need love more than they need respect and men need respect more than they need love. However, each needs both and they should not have to earn it in order to receive it.
We should have and give more love to the person needing love so that his need for love is satisfied. You may think that that is impossible. This person is so starved for love that to love him is like pouring water down a rat hole; you think that you will run out of water before you run out of rat hole. In the meantime he is hanging on to you for more love. You are convinced that you will run out of love before this love-starved person is satiated with it. This might be true if you are counting on his returning love to meet your needs. But if you are filled by the Holy Spirit, you are never
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What are our problems? We do not want to give hugs and attention to a whiner. We do not want to endorse bad behavior. That is true, but we are not endorsing bad behavior. We are curing it. This giving is not giving in to the child’s dictations but to his real need. His perception is truer than your perception. The “whiner” is asking for attention—loving attention.
We do not think the child needs it. Believe me, if he asks for it, he needs it. When he is saturated he will quit asking.
If we kept on giving the attention, we’d find our child would get satisfied. The child will get full and consequently be very secure and ask for very little in the years to come. This security is of major importance in your child’s obedience to you.
You can first confess to God all of your wrong actions such as over-discipline, put-downs, ridicule, ignoring, yelling, anger, favoritism, lack of expressed love, etc. After this you can write to each of your children expressing to them that which you have confessed to God. You can tell them you have confessed your actions and attitudes to God. You can also admit specific things that you remember. You can ask the children to bring to your attention things that they are still hurting about, just as you may still be hurting about how your father treated you. When they tell you, do not be
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Suppose you already have a history of fighting or disagreeing with your spouse in front of the children. Confess your history to God, then to your spouse and your children, and then forsake the fighting.
God leads us to repentance by pouring on kindness—showing us tolerance and patience even though we sin against Him. This is the model that God has put before us as parents.
The reason a gift is the only way is that Heaven is too expensive to buy. The only way it can be obtained is by the One who loves you and can afford to give it to you.
Please focus on 1) the holiness of God, 2) your sinfulness in light of His holiness, and 3) His grace toward you which is much greater than your sinfulness (Rom. 5:20). Please do not put your faith in your faith.
It has always been hard for me to comprehend anyone really loving me. I’m sure this is a childhood thing—but it has followed me into adulthood. God loves me, and with His help, I will learn to accept that.
Christmas is coming. Friends and relatives will have gifts for you. They are already paid for, wrapped, and with your name on them. Will you go to each of these givers and “ask” for your gift? Will you have to ask one hundred times? You will not have to ask at all. You can walk away, not receive, not unwrap, and leave them there. You can reject them, but you do not need to ask for them. Your salvation is bought, paid for, and has your name on it.
I am asking you on behalf of Christ “be reconciled to God.” You do not ask; He is doing the asking. You receive and thank Him.
If the room is dark, you do not ask “how” or “why” electricity works before you turn on the light.
