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“Lennox,
The only Lennox I’ve ever heard of is my uncle lol
Inhaling a lungful of air, I straighten my spine and clear my throat, saying what I know he needs to hear and hoping it absolves him of his guilt.
Damn 😔
“I don’t know what difference you think it’s going to make. Whether I’m angry at you or not, it isn’t going to make you stay.”
Pain
A lone tear I’d been desperately trying to hold on to, rolls down my cheek. I’m sorry too, because he is the first person I opened up my heart to, and with the way I feel now, he’ll be the last.
I actually do not know you at all but I’m so sorry and feel so genuinely bad for you
“Lennox,” I shout as I step closer to him, hoping my voice alone can be the thing that has him opening up his eyes.
Girl 🙄
“He’s my boyfriend.” The lie tumbles out of my mouth with such ease, the words full of wishful thinking.
Sam, there might be something wrong with you? It’s giving obsessive in a bad way….
Aware of our college’s recent campaign to ensure LGBTQ+ students are welcome and comfortable on campus, especially in sports, I know even if the team doctors wanted to push back and kick me out of the room, they’re hesitant to do so.
Yeah, cause THATS why you said it
It’s been four years of pretty much radio silence between the two of us. No visits on the holidays, no weekly FaceTime calls, no daily texts. He’d tell you he’s giving me space after knowing how much he hurt me by leaving, and I would say he just flat out abandoned me.
😭😭😭
We’ve been best friends since our first day of college, and I think I was already in love with him on the second. It’s stupid and going absolutely nowhere, but I can’t shake it. I know he doesn’t feel the same, because he told me exactly that, but my heart feels safer being caught up in his unrequited love than ever giving it to someone else.
Yall two niggas are ridiculous
“I’m not ready, Sammy.” Without missing a beat, another text comes through. Then I’ll make him wait till you are.
❤️
She’s worried about me, and I can’t blame her because I’m worried about me.
Real.
the definition of happy is different for everyone. Do I believe being sober will make you happier? Controversial take? No, I don’t. But do I believe that your addiction is robbing you of all the ways you could be happy? Absolutely.”
That’s such an interesting take. Say more
the shame and disgust I so often walk around with, makes it almost impossible to be on the receiving end of any empathy.
That’s so unfortunate babe
Before you got to the group home, did you get knocked around by your foster parents?
WHY is that your opener???
I flinch, needing to find a way to stop experiencing every single emotion at every single moment.
It be like that
I learn two things in that moment. One, that Arlo was a foster kid, with a found family and a support system. Two, I’m so incredibly jealous.
That’s low key a crazy bar, but I get what you mean
Lennox, with his mussed-up light brown hair and chocolate-colored eyes. They’re sad chocolate-colored eyes.
Lol?
I shift my gaze to watch Samuel’s facial expressions as he takes in the information that hasn’t yet reached me. I thought it would be something that would bother me, but I’m so stupidly in love with Samuel that an excuse to stare at him is more like a prize than a problem.
Me: Do you have time in your recovery to teach me sign language?
I can’t tell if they’re together, but it’s obvious Samuel is protective over Lennox, and Lennox is dependent on his presence.
💀
“So.” It’s Lennox’s voice that breaks the silence. “What you’re saying is your dad tried to kill you?”
No, because my question exactly!
hope keeps you going, but on the other, nothing hurts more than the loss of it.
“Either you two are blind, or you’re both too scared to bring it up.” “Is that your professional observation?” This makes me laugh. “Please. I have never had a single healthy relationship in my life.”
😭
You’re totally in love with him aren’t you?” This time when the car stops, the look in his eyes and the smile, wide across his face, actually take my breath away. “I’ve never told anyone that before,” he breathes out, like he’s relieved to share his secret. “I hate to burst your bubble, but you didn’t tell me, I guessed.”
You’re funny when you’re not spiraling
It always seems like an expectation that in order to move forward, you need to split yourself open and let yourself bleed for others to acknowledge your suffering.
For different reasons, but I know EXACTLY what you mean
“My dad committed suicide when I was ten.”
Damn
The Spot, the gym where Arlo works and Rhys trains, is another fifteen minutes past Lennox’s place, but I would drive hours if I needed to.
Calm down
It’s hard to resist him in general, but lately, he seems to have allowed himself to be affectionate toward me, and I’m a masochist for it.
Lol
He was willing to share his story, but he isn’t willing to share his feelings.
Interesting
I nudge Samuel’s thigh with mine. “Let’s watch this.” He stops it on Peaky Blinders
The scream I just skrumpt!!! I love that show
Me: Do you want him in here? With us?
Oh so we just jumping right in. Word lol
“Tell me what you want,” he murmurs. “I can touch you. I can suck you. I can fuck you too.”
Well gawt damn
“I suppose asking you to succeed at anything would be too much.”
…. Oh my god
I take my cell out of my pocket and send a text before dialing a number. A number that’s seared into my brain.
Don’t do this, please
“I understand why you left now.”
Omg this is so real but so sad 🥺
that feeling when your heart drops to the bottom of your stomach…” My voice cracks, and the strength I had for Samuel is still with him in the waiting room. “And you don’t know if everything is okay until you see them with your own two eyes. How many times is someone supposed to go through that?”
he squirts body wash on his hands and lathers up my skin.
Just hands ???
“You can’t die,” I repeat. “You can’t die without talking to me. You have to let me at least try and help first.”
💔❤️
My mom and I talk all the time. We’re close, in a Gen Z type of way. We text. A lot. But phone calls and FaceTimes are saved for special occasions. Like her birthday.
Huh? Bro, wym gen z? I face time my mom regularly 😭
whenever I said the words “I want,” Lennox and Samuel made it their life mission to make sure “I got”
Yum
For some, it’s till death do us part. For others, it’s through sickness and health For us, it is to hell and back.
I look exactly like my dad. He calls me his “mini-me” and I pretend to hate the nickname, but really, if there was ever a person in the world I wanted to be like—with a matching beard and to be the same height—it was him.
Pain
“She’s crying. Why do you let her cry so much?” “It’s called self-soothing,”
That’s a myth and all it will do is give your child an anxious attachment style
“That way she knows how to settle herself sometimes and doesn’t always need to be picked up.” “Sounds barbaric if you ask me.
It is
As soon as the pathway to me is clear, Kayla lets go of my mother’s hand and runs to me. She runs to me. She runs to me.
🥹❤️
All my todays are for you, and all my tomorrows are because of you.”
That’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard
