At times, I wished for some sort of test for contentment. I wanted to walk into a clinic and give my blood or swab my cheek and run my numbers to determine if my happiness levels were average or not. If they were low, I’d feel justified in making some big change. If things were fairly typical, I’d find ways to cope. My biggest fear would have been finding out that I was above average, that I was better off than most, that the aimlessness I felt all the time was actually as good as it could get. There’s a hopelessness that comes with reaching the peak of anything because once you’re at the top,
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