Yeah...Thanks (Lennox Hills, #2)

by Jahquel J.

It was easier to love someone like Cam because although everyone said he didn’t deserve me, deep down on the inside I felt like the only kind of man I deserved was someone like him.

Whewwwie

Watching the way his lip turned up in a smirk before he spoke was my favorite thing about him. It was hard having to share a suite with him and not want to be with him. I couldn’t be with him. Too much had happened and we both agreed that this wasn’t what we needed. This couldn’t happen and it was best for us to go our own ways.

You’re a very dumb girl babe. You’re pissing me off very badly

My pride refused for me to do it, I wanted to hurt him as much as he hurt me. Which was stupid because this man had never hurt me. All he had proved was that he wanted to be there for me, and I pushed him away.

Cuz wtf are you talking about idiot

I was fucked up mentally. He didn’t need someone like me on his arm. I wasn’t strong enough to be on his arm. A man that confident with a woman who was ready to leap off the ledge the minute something didn’t look right to her. How could we ever be together? For a while I tried to convince myself

This is simply why therapy is so important I want to beat the hell outta her

head. “Fuck, Pum,” he sighed, at a loss for words. I hated revealing this side of me because I felt weak in his eyes. He fell for the girl who was about her business and confident. Harlym J. was that girl, the one everyone wanted to be. I didn’t want to be the girl with body image issues and an eating disorder. “I’m so…sorry,” I stuttered

Girl get help honestly, this is unhealthy to be walking around pissing me and everyone tf off

Why was I trying to make something work with her when she kept intentionally trying to hurt me? No matter how much I showed her that I was down for her and was on her team, she turned around and did or said some wild shit to me. Some shit that hurt. Harlym made sure that knife was sharpened and exactly where she knew it would hurt the most. I wasn’t

Sorry Ash, everyone deserves a healed woman. It’s not your job to bring her back to life. Thats a lot to ask and very risky

I had sent Ashton a birthday text soon as midnight struck. He looked at the message and never replied, which hurt me. I deserved it though. How many times had I intentionally hurt him?

What a psychopath I think I hate her?

I couldn’t let those eyes let me get sucked back in. Harlym wanted her cake and she wanted to slice that shit up and eat it, too. It wasn’t fair to me, and my chest couldn’t take the hurting again. Every time she showed me her ass, it was a blow to me. I would never do her the way she had been doing me, and I didn’t deserve that shit.

Good boy!! I’m glad you gon make her sweat!

It’s typical though… you’re used to be treated like a nothing ass bitch, so I shouldn’t be surprised.” She slapped the shit out of me, and I took it like a man. “Fuck you, Ashton.”

Oh!! Wait wait too far brother

With Ash, I constantly worried about how long things would last before he became tired of me and wanted something new. He knew about my eating disorder, and I worried that he wouldn’t look at me the same. That night in Miami, I could tell he didn’t see me as the Harlym he used to crush on. I didn’t want to become a project he had to fix. Someone he didn’t give up on because he wanted to make sure he could fix every piece of me.

Ok first thing you’ve said that I kind of understand, but still get help

Laurent was right. I couldn’t keep stringing Ashton along when I knew that he wanted us. I wanted us too, I was just so damn scared to jump in with him. Things with Ashton felt different from my relationship with Cam. I was able to hide pieces of me because Cam never cared. With Ash, I couldn’t do that. I had to be transparent and honest, and that was what caused me to run each time.

🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄 too drawn out now, we get it

“I’m going to be honest with you about something, and I need to know that I can trust you with the information I'm about to tell you.”

So you can’t go to therapy but you’re confiding in a child and asking her to keep it a secret? She’s getting worse and worse omg

“That shit ain’t fair to me. One minute you’re cold then the next you’re fucking hot. One minute we’re planning our future and then the next you running out the fucking door.” “I’m fucking complicated,” she whispered. “I’ve never wanted someone so bad that it scared me this way. It’s easier to keep my distance and walls up than to let you in. You have the power to destroy me, Ashton.”

You’re literally not complicated AT ALL. You just need actual mental help, there’s no excuse for this rubbish

I sat both Astoria and Ember down and told them. Demi shouldn’t have to hold a secret like that. It wasn’t fair of me to put all of that on her,

TG you know cuz what was that

When me and Cam first got together, I did whatever I could to keep him. If he wanted a threesome, I was going to give him one. If he wanted to empty his kids on my face, I allowed him. This was my man, so I wanted to do what I had to do to please him and keep him. It didn’t matter how much I pleased him, or who we invited into our bed. He found a reason to cheat on me, and I took him back and held him down like a fool. He was hurt because I married Ash, and I kept bouncing between the both of them.

Ok sorry Jahq you managing to make me feel sorry for her. You’re that girl

“Hey baby,” she whispered, careful not to choke on her tears. “You did all this shit without me knowing… how?” “I mean, it wasn’t easy because you’re so nosey.” Everyone laughed. “You did all this for me, Pum?” It was my turn to choke on my tears.

Okay good job Har. You are doing the work and I see you