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“The nicest thing about the rain is that it always stops. Eventually.” —Eeyore
“If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, keep me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever.”
Love conquers your common sense, your good reasoning, your sound logic. Love conquers your heart until it’s a mangled, stomped-on, barely beating organ. Love conquers your carefully assembled dreams and puts them in the hands of someone else. Love conquers. Consumes. Kills. In my opinion, love is life’s most skilled assassin. And that’s because it hides in plain sight, well versed in camouflage and deception. It wears the face of that one person you would die for on the front line as you bleed out in the dirt, whispering their name on your final breath. No. I will not go out like that. I will
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I’m not sure why he’s always looking at me like that, like he wants to know more, wants to learn more, wants to dig deeper than what I offer on the surface. Most people see right through me, but I’m pretty sure he just…sees me.
Three Reasons You Should Always Swim to the Surface 1. Swimming is good exercise. It’s the reason my arms look so good. (Don’t deny it. I know you like my arms.) 2. The sun is above the surface. The sun suits you. 3. I’d miss you. —Max
“I felt my lungs inflate with the onrush of scenery—air, mountains, trees, people. I thought, ‘This is what it is to be happy.’”
“What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from.”
“I promise you, Ella Sunbury,” I lie through my teeth. “This is not a date.”
“This feels like a date.”
‘Surefire’ by Wilderado.” Melodies burst to life as he turns the volume up. The song is upbeat. Happy. I wonder why it makes him think of me. I’m constantly a dark cloud raining on him, and this song is so pure. It feels like living. Real, authentic living. And suddenly… I’m angry.
“And fuck you, Max Manning. Fuck you for being kind to me. For making me feel safe and vulnerable when I know it’s a mistake. For dancing with me, for holding my hand beneath the stars, and for making me laugh like there are still things worth laughing about. Fuck you for giving me flowers, then and now, as if I really matter to you, and for making my birthday special. And for playing me this stupid song that I absolutely love because it makes me feel the same way you make me feel.” I catch my breath and swallow hard, my voice softening to a hoarse whisper. “Like…I have no reason to be mad
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I’m a mess of tears and joy when I look over at Max, our hands tightly locked together. He holds on to me. He’s with me. He feels it, too. The truth is I’ve had many peaceful moments. And every single one of them has been with him.
“The sun is extra bright today, Sunny. We should try to catch it.” I glance at the yellow-orange ball of fire in the sky and shake my head. “I don’t know how.”
“I mean what I said, honey. Romanticize your life. Don’t live every day like it’s your last. Live every day like it’s your first. Lasts are tragic. Firsts are exciting and full of celebration. Look at every sunrise like it’s the first time you’ve ever seen colors like that before. Listen to your favorite song like you’ve never heard such a precious melody. If you make every day a celebration, you’ll never get bored in your own story.”
“Kissing you feels like catching the sun,”
“Souls don’t see, Sunny. Souls feel. They feel, and they yearn, and they know.” Swallowing, I move in closer, refusing to give up on this. Refusing to give up on her. “I’d feel you in any lifetime, in any version of any reality. And I’d know, without a doubt, without a shred of hesitation…that your soul was meant for mine.”
“I’m not protecting you. I’m protecting Max. I’m protecting that amazing, beautiful, incredible man, who is more of a man than you will ever be.” I jab a finger at him, my skin flushed hot, breathing erratic. “Shame on you for taking something precious away from him when all he ever did was love you. And you did, McKay. You stole from him. You succeeded tenfold because you ruined me. The girl he knew is long gone.” I close my eyes through the pain, more tears leaking out. “And he doesn’t even know why.”
“We didn’t break up, Sunny,” he murmurs back. “We just broke.”
I never stopped loving you. Never. I’ve thought about you every damn day since you drove over that hill in your RV.” Squeezing her shoulders, I find her teary eyes and smile softly. “I’ve carried you with me, all this time. You rise and fall with every sun. You’re between the pages of every book I read. You’re with me on every bridge, and you’re in the verses of every song that plays,” I confess. “I never let you go.”
“My troubles are all over, and I am at home.”
Dear Jonah, Today I fell in love with a boy who finally caught the sun. And he never let her go. The End
