In my manic state I tried to grab the gun from the pack. Graham lunged for me and wrestled it away from me before I could do anything while I fought him viciously as the storm raged around us. “Just kill me,” I sobbed. The rain thundered down and I was on my knees in the mud, pleading with him, clawing at his pants in my unhinged state. “Make it stop—I can’t—I see him every time I close my eyes—just make it stop,” I repeated over and over. I finally gave up and my forehead fell forward onto Graham’s leg as I cried.
