of nutprints to the bathroom. She starts keeping track of her failures in her notes app, an index of icks: —smelled like a baby —said “technically” too much —said “mmm” whenever he took a bite of food —kept shazaming the music —hiccupped the whole time I was going down on him —kept his Invisalign trays in while going down on me —said “cromulent” —drizzled pineapple vape juice directly onto his tongue —shamed me for never having read Deleuze, later insisted condoms “hurt” —eats stuffing every week not just Thanksgiving Eventually, realizing that she does not actually want to remember these
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