Unsteady

by Peyton Corinne

And my father might love us, deep down, but he’ll always love his vices more.

:(

I hate to leave them; I hate sending them to summer camps and endless distractions that don’t break our budget. But without skating, my tuition isn’t paid, and both jobs I currently hold are barely enough to supplement the checks from our mom. This is for them. One day, maybe, they’ll understand it.

My shaylaaaaa

Good enough for a quick morning flirt, but embarrassing in the face of his friends. Forget him.

No no no no PLEASE ITS NOT WHAT U THINK

“I thought maybe you could listen to it while you skate and… I don’t know. It’s stupid—” “It’s not,” I cut her off vehemently. “You made me a playlist.”

Queue me tearing my shirt like a werewolf

Digging a second set of AirPods from my pocket—a gift I’d been working up the nerve to give to her for nearly a week, I slip them into her ears and gently let her go.

I simply want to crumble:)

And without thinking, I drop a kiss to her forehead and pick up my gear bag, turning to leave the room before I can consider how ridiculous that move might have been.

If i was dead, this would bring me back to life.

Of course not. Look at her and look at you. Pathetic.

We love humble men

“For the record,” I say, looking out along the lake, across all the life around us. “I am offering.” She’s silent. Smiling and shaking her head, she avoids every ounce of the eye contact I’m directing toward her. But I can’t bring myself to regret it.

FREAKY RHYSSSS

It’s intoxicating, the feeling of being on top of him and in total control.

Shes asserting her dominance

A fantasy fills my head of showing up at the house, walking in and stealing her attention and time, putting my own hands on her bare skin—so much more of it than I’ve seen at the rink.

Bro is my delusional ass

“Having trouble hearing?” he says, shoving Sean back hard enough that he trips, even though Rhys has barely moved. “She’s told you no repeatedly.” His voice is calm even as the storms gather in his eyes.

YES LEGOAT

His hand settles on my waist, slipping around to press against my lower back. “Then she can play them with me. Get the fuck out of here.”

Live laugh love rhys

It’s clear she’s battling her agreement, but there’s no way in hell they’re walking home alone. If she won’t take our offer, I’ll just have Freddy drive slowly alongside them until they get back to the dorms.

I love gentlemen

“Friends with benefits. That’s what you’re suggesting.” I nod. “I don’t really…” He trails off, seeming to be engaged in some sort of mental battle. “Never mind—I’m not missing my chance. Yes.”

Im dead

“Okay,” I whine. “Okay, okay, okay. Just please.” He chuckles and presses one hard kiss right on my clit before leaning back. “That’s my girl.”

Oh this would END me

“Take off your pants,” she says.

Me too girl

I walk back into the locker room with a beaming smile on my face. The same smile stays on my face throughout warm-ups. The caress of her voice plays on a loop in my head as I start my first game since the accident.

MY BABIES

Liam turns to his brother and lowers his voice just slightly. “I hope I was the best helper today. Then maybe she’ll wanna keep us, Ollie.”

My heart hurtssss

I don’t give a shit what’s happening in this house, she’s the first priority I have.

I cant do it anymore

Sadie doesn’t speak anymore, just takes deep breaths with her mouth parted as we stare at each other. And then she jumps for me.

Im going feral

“Are you two dating now?” Freddy asks. He whines like a kid when Rhys reprimands him again. I swallow every hesitation, every moment I’ve doubted, because I know Rhys wants more. And, for the first time, I do too. “Yeah,” I say, trying to ignore the pinch of discomfort when they both go silent. “I’m his girlfriend.”

FUCK YEAH BOYSSSSS

“I don’t think I’ve ever been happier, Gray,” he whispers. Another kiss to the corner of my mouth. “My girl.” Like a balm to a wound I didn’t know I carried, Rhys holds me close. And that’s more than enough.

I swear im not crying

Everything she does feels heavenly, because it’s her.

This is what i call A MAN.

It isn’t until she’s fast asleep, drained but so beautiful, that I whisper, “I’ll never leave you. Happy birthday, Sadie.”

RAHHHHHHH

Who am I kidding? I’d marry Sadie tomorrow. Period. No stipulations.

Brb gonna go jump off a cliff

“And nothing—no dark part of you, or your life—will ever change that. So, like I told Oliver, if you don’t want me anymore, that’s something I’ll have to deal with. But there will never be a day that I do not want you.”

Ho did u just stab me with a knife and twist it?

Rhys, barely a few months ago you were too panicked to fucking skate—what makes you think you could help any of us when you can barely help yourself?”

How about we calm TF down...

My therapist believes the hero-worship comes from Rhys’s treatment of me in front of the boys, the way he cares for me. For Liam, he’s the first male role model he ever had; the first adult man to take care of him. To say I love you to him.

AWWWWW