Unsteady

by Peyton Corinne

My mother doesn’t love anyone except herself. And my father might love us, deep down, but he’ll always love his vices more.

“Rhys.” He puffs a few breaths, almost like he might laugh if he could catch his breath. “You wanted to knock me on my ass,” he says with a smile, and I see the peek of a dimple on his other cheek. Knew it.

He smiles and it makes me pause. Two matching dimple imprints form in his otherwise chiseled cheeks, a little bit of light bleeding into his usually saddened brown eyes.

“Only fair,” I add. “Considering today might be the only day you’re not hauling my big ass off the ice.” “I’ve seen bigger.”

JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA

“You ever gonna tell me why I keep pulling your big, handsome ass off the ice?” I smirk. “So you have been checking out my ass.”

No deal needed—if she keeps looking at me like this, I’ll do anything she says.

STOP !!!

“I thought maybe you could listen to it while you skate and… I don’t know. It’s stupid—” “It’s not,” I cut her off vehemently. “You made me a playlist.” “Yeah.”

She stops there, but the unspoken words are just as loud. The look in her eyes says I wanted to help, and this is all I have and I see you.

Ya los amo

“Sadie? Pretty name.” Pretty girl.

“Do you think, maybe, one day I’ll have a mommy?” My heart hurts. “Maybe one day, bug.”

No. Paren.

I wonder if I could convince her to She’s the Man herself onto the men’s hockey team so I never have to be on the ice without her.

STOPPPP

“Gray?” she asks. “It’s your eyes.” I smile.

AMO EL APODO

And without thinking, I drop a kiss to her forehead and pick up my gear bag, turning to leave the room before I can consider how ridiculous that move might have been.

Te amo

She’s so beautiful; dark lips and thick lashes over her darting, intense eyes. That little patch of freckles that I want to touch almost constantly. Brown hair that I imagine would feel just like silk if I ran my fingers through it.

Not me thinking que soy ella

“For the record,” I say, looking out along the lake, across all the life around us. “I am offering.” She’s silent. Smiling and shaking her head, she avoids every ounce of the eye contact I’m directing toward her. But I can’t bring myself to regret it.

Yo acepto !

He smiles at me, doe eyes glittering, dimples deep. “I’ll try that one next time. I bet you make the best pancakes, though.” “I’ll make you some sometime,”

Es un golden boy

“I thought you liked savory over sweet.” “I like anything when it comes to you,” he confesses, and my heart clenches.

BYE

But the way Rhys is looking at me isn’t just lust—it’s that desperation I know so well in the darker parts of my mind that close me off from everything.

And then he smiles that same dimpled shining-star smile, and I realize… it isn’t fake; he’s just that goddamn beautiful.

young Heath Ledger.

“You’re good, princess,” Freddy tells Ro.

“Want me to stay?” Rhys asks;

“Fine,” Rhys offers, stepping closer to me. His stance is all power, towering over Sean’s too-relaxed form and semi-shielding mine. His hand settles on my waist, slipping around to press against my lower back. “Then she can play them with me. Get the fuck out of here.”

AAAAAAA

“Sadie, I—” “Yes or no, hotshot.”

It’s clear she’s battling her agreement, but there’s no way in hell they’re walking home alone. If she won’t take our offer, I’ll just have Freddy drive slowly alongside them until they get back to the dorms.

The girl can read chapter-long filthy sex scenes without a flinch, but tell her a boy thinks she’s pretty and she turns into a tomato.

Yo.

Of course it’s Rhys, looking like a goddamn wet dream in gray sweatpants and a navy Dri-FIT long-sleeve shirt that hugs every single inch of his tight upper body.

“I don’t play in an arena she might be in. I can’t see her. Otherwise, I’m going to fucking kil—” “Okay, Tor. Okay.”

Future MMC ??

For the first time since March, I feel… alive. Which is somehow more dangerous, because now, I don’t think I can let her go.

RHYS You look beautiful.

“I want you,” bursts from my lips, because she’s all I need. I don’t care about being in the open, getting caught. But if she does, then it matters to me.

“I know you like to have control,” I whisper, crushing my lips against her cheek. “But I’m not some boy you’re using to try to feel nothing. You’re going to feel everything with me.”

HOT AF

“If that’s what you want, Gray, then yes.” He kisses my forehead on his way out, with a quiet, “Call me,” pressed against my skin.

And I want to be hers, almost more than I want her to be mine.

“Seeing you will be the best part of my birthday.” He smiles a little sheepishly, like he didn’t mean to say it.

“You saw him, Reiner. He stared at the fucking door all night waiting for her.”

Nooo my baby

She’s so goddamn beautiful. I feel every ounce of anger at her fade the longer I look at her.

Te amo

“It’s a joke.” Not to me, I want to say. I’ll never take it off.

“Finish that sentence, I dare you.

That doesn’t help, considering Freddy likes everyone. “Who the hell is he?”

I can’t get him to leave, and he’s locked himself in a bathroom and said only Sadie can come in. If he doesn’t want people to see him like this, he needs to get the hell out of here, and none of us can drive.”

My baby

“You’re so beautiful.” He slurs so much that his words all come out as one.

“I think I’m in love with her.” I hear Rhys tell Bennett, but his voice doesn’t lower even a notch. “And she won’t let me in.”

“And tell your little friend up there to watch her fucking back. I don’t need unbruised knuckles to skate.”

“My son! My son—help him. Please.” And then, “I can’t live without him. Not my son—he can’t do this to me.”

Cosita

“That’s nice,” Liam mumbles quietly. “What is, bud?” He tucks his head into my neck. “That you have a mommy. And a nice one.”

Liam turns to his brother and lowers his voice just slightly. “I hope I was the best helper today. Then maybe she’ll wanna keep us, Ollie.”

Stop

“Be mad. Yell at me if you want, but it’s not going to stop me from caring, and it’s not going to stop me from trying to help you, no matter how many times you push me away.”

“Gray?” “Yes?” “I want to kiss you.”

I know I can love her. I just don’t know if she’ll let me. But for now, this—her like this for me, soft for me—that’s enough.