Fall for Him

by Andie Burke

Those stupid muscles had been taunting him to the point that even now Dylan couldn’t get “U Can’t Touch This” out of his head, and it would probably echo there every single time he saw Derek from now on. Christ, he hated MC Hammer.

Strike 1

Joni offered a teasing smile. “I didn’t realize it was your bedroom he fell into. Darn, I was going to say this was a rule thirty-four situation, but honestly, it’s almost too easy.” Olive’s mouth pouted upward in confusion. “What’s rule thirty-four?” Derek groaned. “It’s a stupid internet saying that if something exists there’s a porn of it.”

Strike 2

“If you’re doing unlicensed or unpermitted renovations, I will find out.”

I hate this bitch.

Derek stood up from the bedframe and mirrored Dylan’s pathetic attempt at the over-the-chest-arm-crossing power move with his own version that was anything but pathetic due to his having pectoral muscles worthy of the Marvelverse. “Fine.”

This was almost strike three, but I'll allow it.

“Fuck…” Derek flinched. “Sorry.” “I’m Catholic, but not a saint. You got a real motherfucking mess on your hands here, but it could be worse.

Okay, you're back to just strike one for this character. He's pretty good.

Being an adult sucked.

Period.

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Ah yes, sweet banter.

the world didn’t deserve Cher.

“How’d it go? He’s a great guy, right? You know I don’t swing that way, but ya gotta admit the guy’s like Ryan Reynolds–level hot. Right? Not that I’m into that, but I mean, everyone thinks Ryan Reynolds is a good-looking dude. Nothing gay about appreciating Ryan Reynolds, right?”

Okay, you're getting close to strike two again.

DEREK Says the man who ate a leftover Taco Bell Crunchwrap for breakfast. DYLAN Any burrito can be a breakfast burrito if you believe hard enough.

The Crunchwrap is NOT a burrito.