Lorena thinks that a mindset shift is the key to escaping this dance because she sees parents trapped in the dichotomy of good parent versus bad parent—a fixed mindset of parenting. Parents think, I went to the seminar, and I read the book, and I still ended up blowing up at my kids. I guess I’m a bad parent. They fall back into the protector mindset. But the protector’s indulgence prevents kids from learning how to be self-directed—which inevitably leads to repeated behavior, another enforcer explosion, and more guilt.
