“I got tired of refereeing,” she told me. Her kids would fight, and she’d take away the toy or whatever. But her mindset was wrong. She was depriving her kids of the chance to learn skills like resilience and responsibility. “I resolved to never referee a fight again,” she said. That decision to shift toward a mentor mindset and start asking questions (mostly during do-overs) saved her hours and countless headaches. That realization inspired her to coach parents to ask, not tell when they’re in a conflict.
