10 to 25: The Science of Motivating Young People: A Groundbreaking Approach to Leading the Next Generation—And Making Your Own Life Easier

by David Yeager

In my early twenties, before I became a scientist, I lived and worked in an orphanage in Talagante, Chile, called the Hogar de Niños San Jose. I ran day care and educational programs for kids aged two to eighteen, working twelve-to-fifteen-hour days. In my mind, I was there to love and support the kids, not discipline them. I thought, They’ve been through so much, they don’t need me there getting them in trouble or telling them what to do. For example, one morning we took out every toy and created a massive obstacle course. For an hour it was joyous chaos. When it was time for lunch, nobody wanted to clean up. I let it slide. They went to lunch, and I stayed to clean. From then on, the kids walked all over me. I hadn’t upheld high expectations for collective responsibility, and they took advantage of it. Looking back, I had a deficit view, not an asset-oriented view. I thought of the orphaned children mainly in terms of what they lacked—love or a stable home—not in terms of what they could do if it was expected of them. This deficit belief pushed me into a protector mindset. I sought to protect them from anything unpleasant.