“Are you going to eat that bagel or stab it to death?” I look up to see my friend Jacob standing next to my table with a wry smile on his face. He’s right—all I’ve done with my snack is slice it and dice it. “Definitely stab it to death,” I reply as he sits down opposite me. “It’s an evil bagel and deserves to suffer.” “Ouch! Is it a proxy bagel? A scapebagel, if you will? Does it look like your boss?”
