Elevator Pitch

by Evelyn Leigh

If you’ve ever been told “you’ll never find love if you don’t leave the house,” this one’s for you.

For those who need a reminder that they are worthy of love.

I’ve tried giving real men a chance, but that’s it. I’m deleting my dating profile and going back to fictional men.

FICTIONAL MEN ALWAYS >>

If there was ever a real-life moment to redeem a get-out-of-jail-free card, that was it.

Brutal

I’m a people pleaser in recovery. We prioritize everyone else’s happiness, even strangers who don’t mean anything to us. It’s just in our nature. Externally, I’m too fucking nice. Internally, I’m a badass like the women in my family. I struggle with displaying both sides in a way that is healthy for me.

Someone is out there waiting to love me. Someone will see all that I am and provide ample space for me to just be. Someone will contribute to the life I’ve created for myself without dimming my light.

I’d like to think that if love knocks again, I’ll answer the door.

“I’m sorry?” I ask without looking up. I swear I’m not usually this rude. I’m just on the last two pages of this chapter, and I must know what happens. The enemies are about to become lovers, dammit!

No fr tho, doesn’t this man see the DND sign floating above my head

“Listen, ma’am. I don’t have anywhere to be, but if you’re going to keep eye fucking me…I’d appreciate it if you’d ask me my name.”

You grabbed my attention and held onto it, all while you were focused on that novel. I wanted to earn your gaze.”

“My name is Greyson, but you can call me Grey if you’re nasty,” he adds with a disarming smile.

SOMEONE COME GET THIS MAN 😭🙈🫠

“See you around, Selah. I hope to hear you calling me Grey sometime soon.” He flashes a kilowatt smile before the elevator doors close.

THIS MAN

Reading romance is amazing, but eventually, you start to wonder if your main character moment will ever come along. I can’t be the only one who feels that way.

You’re not alone girl

I pull out my phone to make a quick note for myself. Happier Than Ever. Ctrl. Selah. Listen to these immediately.

We lock eyes and she gives me a soft smile. “Wait up?” she asks. As if I would do anything other than wait for her.

“You want to buy me smut books?” “Yes.” “Paperback or hardcover?” “Anything you fucking want.”

I remove Smokey Robinson’s Where There’s Smoke...record and set it on the slip mat—carefully moving the needle to play Crusin, a sure-fire track to get her to dance with me before she heads home.

TASTE

I’ve read a few romances she’s recommended, and I think this is what they call a slow burn. I can wait. The fire will be rewarding.

Looks like they’ve matched. Have fun, kids.

NO WAIT BC IM SO HERE FOR THIS OMGGGG

He removed his shoes AND washed his hands upon settling in. Pro: He may be the perfect houseguest. Con: I think he’s trying to steal my heart.

“Oh, I forgot. You named it toothbrush.”

ACTUALLY SHUT UP 😭😭😭 have you no shame OMG

I got her. My sunflower.

“Selah, are you calling me a book boyfriend? That’s a hell of a compliment.” “Well, I won’t be saying it now. I’d hate to make you even more annoying.”

My stomach sinks when I realize one of my books is missing. I look closely and see a tiny sheet of paper in its place. I carefully remove the note and read it.

Consider this collateral. I’ll be hearing from you soon, Sunflower. :)

I don’t bother turning around because I know he’ll watch me until I disappear from his view. He thinks I don’t know he does that, but I do.

It’s the little things in life 🤍

I have been reading too many of her romance books and the lines between reality and fiction have obviously been crossed.

😭🤣🙈

Do you need saving? Tuck your hair behind your ear if Yes. Rub the back of your neck if No. I ponder on this before deciding to tuck a lock of my hair behind my right ear.

Smell Good Man Let me grab my cape and I’ll be right there.

NO STOP IT RIGHT NOWWWW

I can’t have you falling for me just yet. I’ve grown accustomed to you giving me a hard time.”

Someone come get this man 🤣

What woman wrote Grey? I’d like to thank her for her service.

Men written by women >>>

“There’s a bug going around that prevents you from lifting a finger. It’s serious, and I’m afraid there’s no cure.” He shakes his head in concern. “You’ve been showing symptoms, so I’m just going to have to take care of you.”

I chuckle to myself. This girl is something else.

NO BC HER RESPONSE 😳 SELAH IS THAT GIRL

“How do I look at her?” “Like if you blink, she’ll disappear. You look at her like you’ve found the peace you’ve been looking for all this time.”

Coming from his dad BROOO def like father, like son 😭🤭

“Make a wish, Grey.” I close my eyes and blow out the candles. I wish she was mine.

“Baby, when you fall in love, you have no control over it. You can lay down a thousand ground rules, but if your heart wants that man, those rules won’t stop shit.

“I understand why love feels like a threat to the life you’ve worked so hard to create for yourself, but it doesn’t have to be. Nobody in those books you read is ever prepared for the love that knocks on their door, either. Love doesn’t give a damn if you’re ready for it. When it knocks, you answer.

She doesn’t have to say it back, I’ll gladly love her until she catches up. Near or far.

Love doesn’t give a damn if you’re ready for it. When it knocks you answer.

You can lay down a thousand ground rules, but if your heart wants that man, those rules won’t stop shit.