She is thinking this when it occurs to her that she ought to call Irene. A feeling out of nowhere, longing like a kick in the stomach: to be anything to anyone. She stands where she is and tries to imagine what she would say if she called, whether she might beg her sister to treat her like a competent older sibling, to at least make a show of considering her thus. Do you have any problems you need fixing? Could you maybe invent one and send it my way?
