Blame it on being denied the human nipple at birth, a desperate reaction to latent homophobia, or simply an out-of-control desire to be desired, but falling for girls was what I did for a living, pro bono. If I was trapped in an elevator with John Lennon, Sandy Koufax, and a girl with body odor and acne, I would strike up a conversation with Lil Ms. Smelly every time.
