“I failed all your weird tests for God knows what, and after half a day of debate, you guys have decided I wouldn’t be a good fit for planet Fuck You—which, unsurprisingly, is a pleasure planet, but that’s not important. And since going back to Earth is obviously not in the cards, I’m being transported to a place called You Suck—and honestly, that name feels like a personal attack—to live among fucking lizard people.” I heaved in a deep breath, my voice an octave higher when I finally added, “Did I get all that right?” “Yes,” he said dryly. “Although, You Suck came into existence thousands of
...more
