In my head, I could argue, quite adamantly, that appeasing my owner and receiving pleasure was totally fine. I mean, my main issue was that I didn’t want anything to hinder my chances of going home, but a little bit of mutual pleasure didn’t have to complicate my escape plans. I could have sex without getting attached, surely. It was just sex, and it was pretty darn self-destructive to deny myself that simple comfort while I was biding my time.
