And I loved him, I loved Matthew in a way that made me wonder if I’d ever known how love felt before him. It was so scary, it made me feel so vulnerable, so frail, and perhaps… perhaps that was how this was supposed to feel. Perhaps that was fine. Perhaps, I love yous were meant to feel this big. To make you feel this naked. This exposed. So big you were terrified to hurt. So safe no one could touch you. Perhaps to love was to leave a mark.
