The Fiancé Dilemma

by Elena Armas

Your expectations are not impossibly high. Never let anyone make you believe you’re asking for too much.

Change spiced up life, in my opinion. It kept you on your toes.

“Those are the best things to fall in love with,” I heard myself say. “The ones we find accidentally.”

“Beautiful things shouldn’t be boxed. It eventually dims their light.”

“You’re nothing I expected, Josie,” he said softly. So softly it almost hurt. “I told you that night. But now I know you’re nothing I deserve, either.”

“We don’t just kiss if we must, from now on. I kiss you. I kiss you like I’ve wanted to do for weeks now. Not because we have to, but because I fucking need to.”

“If I asked you to meet me somewhere at midnight and bring a big pack of matches with you, what would you do?” Matthew’s answer was quick and serious. “I’d say we better dress in black. Ash stains are a motherfucker to remove.” This man.

“What if I can’t give you any fucking firsts, so I want to make sure I get a chance at being your last?”

“So what if it hurts a little? I’ll hurt if it makes you better.”

“Haven’t you heard? I might break your heart, Matthew. Polls say more than fifty percent chance.” “You can try. Won’t work, though.” Indignation bubbled up. “Why not?” “Because with you, I’m unbreakable.”

Perhaps, I love yous were meant to feel this big. To make you feel this naked. This exposed. So big you were terrified to hurt. So safe no one could touch you. Perhaps to love was to leave a mark.

Maybe we just need to learn to love who we are and let people around us love us for that, too.”

I only need her. Jobs are replaceable. Careers are fickle. Roots grow anywhere there’s ground. Commitment and love are shown with actions. And I plan on doing that every fucking day of my life as long as I have her.

And Josie had always been Technicolor in my head. Not white.