How to Hide in Plain Sight

by Emma Noyes

The OCD I have can only be described as inner torture.

Those memories become your origin story. An origin story you didn’t get to write.

Soon, I’m just worrying about how much I’m worrying. Then I start worrying about the fact that I’m worrying about worrying.

suddenly my mind feels so crowded, as if my thoughts aren’t filtering out in the way most thoughts do. As if something is blocking the exit. As if, rather than in and out of my mind in an orderly line, one thought replacing another, they linger.

I pick up both pillows and squeeze them over either side of my head. One for each ear. I assume it will muffle the noise. It doesn’t. How could it? This noise doesn’t come from outside my head. It comes from within. —