How to Hide in Plain Sight

by Emma Noyes

To empty myself of the horrible things I’ve done. Each entry a little apology. To whom am I apologizing? The Universe? God? I don’t know.

the relief a confession brings is temporary, anyway. There will always be something new.

Leaving things out is just another kind of lie. You have to tell Manuel. If you don’t, that makes you a liar. But if I tell him, he’ll think I’m a bad person. He’ll think I’m crazy. He won’t want to be my friend anymore. But if you don’t tell him, you’ll feel guilty about lying.

remember that time you didn’t mourn your brother, remember that time you flirted with a boy who already had a girlfriend, remember that you’re disgusting, you’re a pervert, and remember that the only way to atone for these perversions is to remind yourself