I understand in this moment that there is no right thing to do, no good way to exist as what we are, or even as what we were—mortal women. My worldview, my rules, my morality, were all constructed as a cage for my shame—shame forged by forces outside myself. I’ve related restriction to virtue, nourishment to gluttony; associated satisfaction with guilt ever since I learned about the Atkins diet, ever since I heard the word “slut,” ever since I was young.
