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As soon as the light flashes green, I push the door open and freeze. “Shit.” “Fuck!” Bryan shouts. He’s got Veronica against the wall, her legs are wrapped around his waist, and he’s balls deep.
Awkward
Kandii nods. “She seemed sweet, and that guy’s a dick. He doesn’t deserve her.”
Awww thx Kandiiiii
Bryan: You’re a fucking dead man! Huh. He seems irritated.
“Chicken Salad!” My big fluffy Alaskan Shepherd mix
Pardon me
I’ve received more accusatory texts from Bryan, trying to blame me for how his dick found its way into Veronica.
Like, fuck me for expecting my fiancé to not sleep with my best friend, right?”
I suck her finger into my mouth down to the knuckle, and somehow, her already dark eyes get even deeper. She tastes like apple cinnamon. I swipe my tongue around the taut metal band.
Excuse me????
“And you’re a womanizer. Just because I was in a committed relationship, doesn’t mean I can’t spot a fuckboy. You’re not coming near my vagina.” “I could come on your back if that works better?”
😂😂
“Dog person. Cats don’t have eyebrows, and it freaks me out.” “You’re weird.” “You’ll never unsee it.”
Interesting
“I don’t mind, Mr. Davenport. You can return to your residence. I’ll make sure she makes it to the vehicle safely.”
A real one
My whore brain is confused.
We’re becoming fast friends and— Wait a minute, did she fucking friendzone me?! Holy shit. That’s exactly what she’s done. I’ve never been on this side before.
but losing the option of having something more than our friendship leaves me feeling a little empty. This is stupid.
“It says you’ve been terminated.”
Oooooo shit
I’m two blocks from the corporate campus when sirens blare. My rearview mirror flickers with blue and red lights.
Omg 😆
Payment declined. What the fuck?
It always happens in 3s
I almost jump for joy, that’s my bus—and it’s here! Exactly like the internet said it would be.
Like the internet said it would be 😂
Step one, fudge brownies. Step two, get drunk.
Good steps
“I owe Camden Teller one bottle of whatever this is,” I announce, then glance at the label. “Ah, a Riesling. Lovely.”
Lovely
“Want my straw?” I offer it to him. He cautiously sets down his gym bag. “Why?” “Because everything is better with a silly straw!”
“Maybe I should tattoo a diamond necklace on the back of my hand . . . that way I can dress you up whenever I want.”
Went to get your things. Stay put. —C
Awww
What happened tonight was simple, she had a need, and I took care of it. Because that’s what friends do.
I skate by and point at her. You.
Awww
You know they caught you on the jumbotron, right?”
Red light omg Bryan’s gonna find out
She rolls her lips together and laughs. “Tell them I found a better man. The best man.”
The best man 😂😂😂😂
“I’m not going to meet your parents.” “Why not? They’re cool people.”
Well, what the fuck? I can be romantic. I think. I bought tampons, didn’t I?
Super romantic
