The Envy of Eve : Finding Contentment in a Covetous World

by Melissa B. Kruger

Everywhere we look, we are bombarded with the quest for more. This subtle comparison game, if allowed to ferment in our soul, can begin to take root and bloom into a life of discontentment and pain. The source of the problem is the sin of coveting – a sin that may appear inconsequential in comparison to the rest of the Ten Commandments. However, it is like the drop of water that can find its way into the tiny crack of a rock. Once it freezes, it can cause a fissure that damages the rock and splits it to the core. The subtle nature of the sin can often hide its painful consequences.

Our goal is not to stop our longings altogether, but to refine our desires and align them with the Lord’s will for our lives.

Desiring greatly is not in opposition to contentment. In fact, Paul considered himself content in every and all circumstances12, yet still was filled with longings.

I live in the middle of a world right now that is filled with inordinate desire: I have a two-year-old. Like most two-year-olds, she is filled with many desires, and she is resentful when anyone possesses what she has decided she needs.

our inordinate desires are never solved by attainment.

Today we may covet one item, but once it is given, we will soon begin to desire something else. In fact, rather than quenching the fire of coveting, often attaining an item gives us a greater desire to possess more.

My problem was in accepting the Lord’s will for my life, which involved these very trivial items that I grumbled and complained about in my heart. I can say that by God’s grace He is changing my heart to trust and rejoice in him, regardless of my circumstances. However, my heart is the thing that needs changing, not my circumstances.

Disappointments fester in our hearts and grumbling and complaining become our habit. As thankfulness decreases, we find ourselves increasingly discontent, regardless of the significance of our struggle.

Coveting blinds us to the hardships of our neighbor and instead focuses in on the ways the Lord is blessing her with what we desire. Her hardships will seem light in your eyes – how can she have any significant struggle when she has the one thing you desire? Coveting is the antithesis of Christ’s command to ‘love your neighbor as yourself,’20 because our neighbor becomes our enemy simply by possessing what we desire. We cannot love well those whose lives or belongings we covet.

Our dissatisfaction may grow because we compare our life with those around us, or because our present reality is quite different from our own personal hopes, dreams and expectations of life. Whatever the cause, discontentment is a sure sign that our heart is coveting something in an inordinate manner.

Truly, our envy or grief at another’s good shows forth the ugliness of this sin in our hearts. Our ability to ‘rejoice with those who rejoice’ is consumed by our own dissatisfaction with life. We find God’s goodness to others a cause for grief because we wrongly believe that God has failed to be good to us. In this great failure to trust God, we rob both neighbor and

God wants contentment in all things regarding our own estate because He is the Lord of all of our circumstances. From that deep contentment will flow a right desire for and rejoicing at the good of our neighbor. In contrast, our coveting is marked by an entitled comparison that leads to resentment towards God and isolation from true community with others.

The last characteristic to help us understand the seriousness of coveting is the notion that it is a sin that begets other sins. Thomas Watson called covetousness a ‘mother sin’ because it leads us to break each of the Ten Commandments.21 He explains that coveting leads us to break the first commandment because the object of our desire becomes another god that we worship and love. We break the fourth commandment to obey the Sabbath because our covetous desires lead us to spend our time on our own pleasures instead of the worship of God. Adultery begins first with the covetous desire of lust. Stealing begins with envy of that which belongs to another. Our covetous desires do not simply stay in the inner reaches of our hearts. James tells us, ‘But each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.’22 As we contemplate these wrong desires and set our hearts upon them, they will give birth to outward sins that will eventually lead to death. We need to take seriously the effect that these inner desires have on our physical, emotional and spiritual life. If left unchecked, they eventually will lead to great sorrow and consequences in our own lives and the lives of those around us.

Some days, we desire rightly, trusting the Lord in our places of waiting. Other days, we grumble and complain and are full of a covetous spirit. We live in a sinful, fallen world.

A heart that is longing well can wait for God to accomplish His promises. It is a waiting full of trust that does not lean on its own understanding. In contrast, a covetous heart schemes and plots, using human wisdom to accomplish desired goals and outcomes.

If we are using other people to determine what we desire out of life, then we are not listening to God’s direction and plan for our own life. Instead of following God, we are similar to our old middle-school self and still just following the crowd.

On this path of borrowed longings we will find ourselves continually empty and always coming up short. Even as we gain these items, we come to realize that they do not fulfill our lives, because they were not true longings of our own heart; they are just things we came to believe we should have because our neighbor possessed them.

When our desires begin because we compare our lives to those around us, and not because of God’s work in our life, we can be assured that we are coveting items that will only lead us to cry out for relief from the very items we desired.

The last heart check on our longings comes as we look at the attitude we have as we wait for God to bring about what we desire. If our attitude while we wait is full of complaining, bitterness, anger or unthankfulness, then we are coveting. We desire rightly when we can wait on God to provide the longings of our heart with joy and thankfulness at what He has already given us.

So often in our seasons of waiting, we miss out on all that the Lord has given us because we are consumed coveting the item or situation we think we need.

Their unwillingness to be thankful for the daily provisions of God clearly demonstrated their great distrust of the Lord. Their unthankful and complaining hearts showed forth their envious and inordinate desires. In contrast, a heart that is content can wait patiently for what is lacking, bearing fruit in every season.

27 One who has learned to trust in the Father’s goodness can bear such fruit in any and every circumstance.

our ability to be thankful and content in all things is directly related to our understanding of God’s character. We need to understand the extent of both His goodness and His sovereignty if we are to rejoice in His daily provision for our lives.

Colossians 3:5, Paul equates covetousness with idolatry. In a sermon on this passage, John Piper thoughtfully inquires, ‘Have you ever considered that the Ten Commandments begin and end with virtually the same commandment? “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exod. 20:3) and “You shall not covet” (Exod. 20:17) are almost equivalent commands. Coveting is desiring anything other than God in a way that betrays a loss of contentment and satisfaction in him. Covetousness is a heart divided between two gods. So Paul calls it idolatry.’1

‘Do not fear, for am I in the place of God? As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today.’3 Notice that Joseph asserts two seemingly incompatible truths – his brothers intended to work evil, but God intended to work good. This statement essentially shows forth the mystery of God’s sovereignty. God fully rules over even the evil intents of His subjects, yet man is fully responsible for the evil acts he commits. God’s rule over man’s choices does not negate the fact that man makes sinful choices and rebels against God’s call.

We glorify God most as we worship and enjoy Him. We also glorify Him as our lives become increasingly transformed into the image of Christ. Ephesians tells us that He chose us ‘to be holy and blameless in his sight.’17 Peter tells us that we were chosen ‘for obedience to Jesus Christ and sprinkling by his blood.’ We are not simply chosen to spend eternity with God in heaven; we are chosen for transformation into His image here on earth.

Both our blessings and our trials propel us towards this ultimate and better good. C.S. Lewis describes this process in the following way: ‘Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.’19 God does not promise that our life here on earth will be one of ease or comfort. He does promise to transform our lowly bodies so they will be like His glorious body. If we want to fight our inordinate desires, we must realize and believe that our desires are so much less than what God desires for us. We also must realize that our desires and longings show that we are actually made for something much more.