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I’d loved West Haven so much I couldn’t see straight.
Did he ever think about us? I did. Every day. Every hour. It was beautiful torture.
Collisions on crossroads. West and I were nothing but collisions on crossroads. Sooner or later, our paths would drift apart again. We never seemed to be going in the same direction, and this time was no different. He’d stay because he belonged. I’d leave because I didn’t.
We were like kindling. All we needed was an ember, and we went up in flames.
West had always looked sexy in a hat. Any hat. But I liked the baseball hat a lot.
And when she was here, we were tethered. It had been that way since I was a kid and Dad had ordered me to play with her. Since the days I’d introduced her to Chief and shown her my fort and taught her to play poker. When Indya Keller was in Montana, she was mine. Even when she wasn’t.
A century wouldn’t dull this fire. Not with Indya.
No matter how many years passed between us, no matter how many times I’d told myself I’d moved on, there was no forgetting. I’d loved West Haven for what felt like my entire life. Even though I’d never said the words. Even though I’d never made him a promise. Even though I’d married another man. West was mine. Even though he wasn’t.
It was all for him.
“Are you drunk?” “A little.” I’d never seen her drunk on anything but me.
It wasn’t fair that our roads crossed only once a year.
Because every year, more and more of my heart seemed to linger in Montana, long after our vacations ended.
But he was my West. He might not have lived in Texas, but he’d been there with me all the same. He lived in my heart.
I’d tried avoiding her. It wasn’t working. It just made me . . . miss her. It felt like I’d been missing Indya my whole life.
out here in the meadow, it smelled like home. Grass and dirt and rose perfume.
“It bothers me that I know you, Indy. And I don’t.”
“It bothers me too.”
Time was always strange when it came to West and me. It existed. And it didn’t.
It had been a long time since I’d felt needed. Wanted. I’d missed being wanted. Probably because the man who’d always made me feel desired was West, and we’d spent too many years apart.
If he were stranded on a deserted island and he could take only three things, he’d choose an axe, a lighter, and me. He’d choose me for his island. Every time I thought about it, I smiled.
West had always given me butterflies.
“What are we doing, West?” she whispered against my skin. Were we picking up where we’d left off? Or was this a long goodbye? I wasn’t sure I’d survive another goodbye with Indya. “Starting over. You good with that?” Her entire body relaxed. “Yeah. I’m good.” “Thank fuck,” I breathed.
She curled in deeper, like she was trying to crawl inside my body and stay awhile. “I wish.” There was no trailing end to her sentence this time. There were no words she’d left unsaid. I wish. “I wish too, baby.” I breathed in her sweet scent, holding her tight until her breaths evened out and her body went limp with sleep. I wish. I wished I had kept her. I wished our timing had worked years ago. I wished I had waited. I wished she had waited too.
Damn him. Damn him for knowing me too well.
It wasn’t really starting over. There was no forgetting our history. And even if that were possible, I wouldn’t want to erase our past. But there was no denying that everything was different this time around. Indya was here. And I wasn’t letting her go.
I loved her. I fucking loved that woman. I’d loved her my whole damn life.
When she spotted me, a smile lit up her face. A smile that reminded me of white wildflowers and green fields. Of my old green truck in a mountain meadow. Of summer weeks with Indya Keller.
“I want everyone to know you’re mine. Employees. Guests. Anyone who sets foot on this ranch. We were a secret for too long, baby. I’m not hiding this anymore.”
“It hits me now and again that we have time. That we don’t have to rush every minute together. It’s surreal. I’m just . . . happy.” “Me too.”
We stood together in silence. I wasn’t sure for how long, but it was easier in the quiet. I could still hear Dad’s voice. If I closed my eyes, I could pretend he was beside me, face tipped to the blue Montana sky to let the sun warm his skin. What if I stayed here forever? What if I just stood here until I was nothing but ashes in the wind too?
I hauled his pillow into my face, drawing in his scent. Leather and soap and wind. I’d miss that smell. For the rest of my life.
Besides my father, West Haven was the best man I’d ever known.
“Will you still want me if I’m a crying girl?” I sniffled. West ran his thumb across my bottom lip. “My girl can cry whenever the fuck she wants.”
I wanted to try. To do something here that made a difference. I wanted to stay. For once, I just wanted to stay.” West buried his face in my hair. “You are staying. For good. I’m not watching you leave this ranch again.”
“I have loved you since I was ten. Since you left a paper airplane and flowers in my fort. I love you. I have always loved you.”
“Is this real?” “We’ve always been real, Indy.”
Grant would have wanted her to live a life of her own making. She stared at the Beartooth. Like the lodge, its lights shone bright. Inside, a new family was making memories in that little chalet. Then she glanced to the boys in the back seat. “My wishes came true,” she whispered. “So did mine.” We were living a dream together. On the Haven River Ranch.
