Case File Compendium: Bing An Ben (Novel) Vol. 1

by Rou Bao Bu Chi Rou

“What studies?! Studying Chinese? Who doesn’t know how to speak Chinese? You’re all just pulling a scam!”

“There’s a Brokeback Mountain in every person’s heart…” He gave up trying to wake her up and took the remote to change the channel. He Yu really disliked homosexuality.

HA!

“psychological Ebola.”

YOU CAN’T JUST NAME SOMETHING THIS

straight man cancer7

He Yu was straight, and he also disliked doctors. His Elderliness Xie Qingcheng was completely unwelcome in his room.

“Too gay. I’m homophobic.” Xie Qingcheng shoved He Yu away. He circled around him to enter the dorm and began searching. He Yu was at a loss for words. “What? That’s not what I meant. If you’re homophobic, then I’m even more homophobic…”

This is the funniest fucking thing I’ve ever read

divorced man pushing forty

YOURE THIRTY TWO

With a sly lift of his gaze, he stared into He Yu’s eyes, parted his pale lips and slowly closed them around the straw that had been shoved in front of his face. Without breaking eye contact, he sucked deeply on the straw without a hint of courtesy.

There was only a single fucking sofa bed inside. How were they supposed to sleep?!

One bed !!!

Xie Qingcheng opened his peach-blossom eyes. “What are you doing?” He Yu misunderstood Xie Qingcheng’s motivations, believing he was moving away out of disgust for his illness. And so, feeling a bit malicious, he leaned even lower, pressing his lips to the side of Xie Qingcheng’s neck and letting the tips of his teeth brush against the older man’s skin as he spoke quietly. “My illness is acting up. I want to kill you to shut you up. Are you going to run?” Like hell was his illness acting up!

the closeness didn’t bother him so much when he was in control.

Every time he found an interesting item, he would hold his phone up to Xie Qingcheng’s back, fantasizing about how Xie Qingcheng would look if he were to one day succumb to He Yu’s control and get tied up and stuffed into this kind of attire. As he envisioned Xie Qingcheng’s humiliation at his hands, He Yu’s weariness faded away without a trace.

He’s fantasizing about forcing XQC into “humiliating” (sexy) wedding dresses and genuinely thinks he’s straight?

Xie Qingcheng turned his head to confirm that his latest disturbance was He Yu.

Would you look at that! If it isn’t the consequences of my own actions.

This is a very normal conclusion to relationships between normal people.”

A very normal person thing to say

He Yu lowered his head with a smirk as he ran the tip of his tongue over his teeth. “Ah, what a pity it is that I’m not your dog.”