Friends with Secrets

by Christine Gunderson

Holy hell. She’d seen an email somewhere, at some point, while she and Baby Joe were still in the hospital recovering from her emergency C-section, but how could she possibly be expected to remember such arcane details? And didn’t her husband have an email address too? Why were women expected to both give birth and remember to buy No. 2 pencils?

As she said goodbye and slipped her phone back into her purse, she suddenly realized why she desperately wanted her job back. She missed excelling at something, at being good at what she did, and the recognition that came with it.

or even meeting these invisible standards. God did not reach down from heaven and mark the worthy.

The school schedule was an impenetrable riddle made up of half days, early-dismissal days, gym-uniform days, regular-uniform days, out-of-uniform days, and Bring Dental Floss to School to Make Care Packets for the Homeless days. She suspected it was an elaborate test designed by administrators. Children of good parents who kept it all straight would be given the one legendary teacher everyone wanted, while the children of bad, disorganized parents would get the first-year

“New research finds mothers feel more worried, stressed, and judged than fathers.” “Is that from The Onion?” Nikki shook her head. “Nope, it’s a real news bulletin from a legit paper.” “What’s the story on the next page?” Ainsley asked. “Survey reveals small children don’t like to brush their teeth?” “Poll finds majority of women would rather read a book than unload the dishwasher?” Nikki asked.