Friends with Secrets

by Christine Gunderson

Why were women expected to both give birth and remember to buy No. 2 pencils?

But no benchmarks of excellence existed in motherhood, and she received no recognition for surpassing or even meeting these invisible standards. God did not reach down from heaven and mark the worthy. Instead, judgment rained down from grandparents, education experts, parenting columnists, in-laws, dentists, and strangers on airplanes. But the harshest judgment came from the endless whisper of self-reproach from

How had she acquired all the trappings of adulthood when she did not know all the things adults were supposed to know?

Growing up, she and Jolene believed that teachers and librarians were rich. Anyone with consistently running utilities, a car that started on cold mornings, and a house made from real lumber on a street with sidewalks seemed wealthy to them.